I was there
at waters edge
my face, an imprint in the sand
choked
washed out
you found me,
covered in sea salt
lying naked,
outstretched,
surrendering
to the red rays of sorrow
who knew I could drift so far
and still roll in with the tide
to the sandy shores
of your earth?
Author notes
Photography by Michael Kahn and borrowed from Nicolette
In a list
A contest entry
- Seascape Series: Driftwood by Nicolette.
450 points, ended July 4, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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loved it
wow!... so deep, i can relate to it in so many ways, life and death, love, time, wisdom and experience,this poem seems to adress so many things with its metphore and the sway of words its just magnificent...
simply...GREAT!
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The content of this poem is deep, beautiful, and somewhat mysterious, which is good and the sign of a mature poet. You know what cards to leave facing up
We don't want to show everything in a poem. If I can read it understand it completely I will fall asleep
and start reading smut. The form is good to. The way you slid the lines a little to the right actually made it easier to read and contributed to the flow of the poem.
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Thanks Jeff. Lovely comment.
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I like this side of you..happy, in love..
so Neruda-like and lovely.
I can never find the right words for expressing love, I always sound so corny, you never do. You and Nicolette, do it so well.
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Thanks.
I appreciate that....but corny? You? NOooooooo....never.
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Absolutely gorgeous! Welcome back love, we missed you.
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thanks
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There are times we are not allowed up, either by self or circumstances, until we have reached bottom. This is definitely a powerhouse is a little package...
MOTHER
I succumb to her will
tired of fighting her waves
until I was carried
and placed back upon her shore
to face yet her glory
of another day
Hugs...Eddy
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Wow! This says much with so little. Loving the imagery here and the emotional parallels that run throughtout the piece.
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Oh wow. I love the picture you have up. It kind of looks sureal with the colors and everything. It's just beautiful. But you know what? I think your poem is even more beautiful. I loved how soft and needy it felt. Like you have reached the end of your rope only to find yourself safe at last. That must be a really beautiful feeling. I really loved that line about the red rays of sorrow. It sounded wonderful.
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This is such a lovely poem and although it begins in anguish the tides of love found it...how mysterious the way of love indeed. The last question made me smile...miracles do happen. A wonderful take on the contest theme and the words and images pressed so gently into the sands of this poem.
Thank you for posting it in my contest.
~ Nicolette
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I love the poem but not 'them odds'. Oh well, sometimes drawing to that 'inside straight' works out. Best of luck in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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The good news is, this is a true story
Sometimes we are at our lowest when we look up and see what/who we really need and love....and who really needs and loves us. The odds are not as unattainable as you might think
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"lying naked,
outstretched,
surrendering
to the red rays of sorrow"
Sighhh...Such anguish is apparent within these lines, my Friend...& ohhh, how glad I am that you were able to find the shores of love once more...Good luck in Nic's contest, Sweetie... Wanda
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