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Illusions

 

 

 

facing questions to which

all the obstentatious vacuity of words

give no reply

 

the colossal edifice built

with high sounding words

 

barriers erected

between self and doubt

 

crumbling

 

like a capitalist without capital

a conqueror without conquests or

a vocabulary without expression

 

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~

 

each of us has an illusion

about ourselves

 

somewhere inside

 

a picture

we believe is true

 

and when one loses faith

in one's own illusion

 

there is nothing left

 

 

 

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27
  • Apparition
    November 18, 2007

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    Excellent

    A very solid poem all the way through. And so full of such deep truth. Congratulations on your trophy.
    I really appreciated ZT's thoughts on this piece as well. This is a very insightful piece.


  • Grimoire
    September 25, 2007

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    Awesome

    barriers erected,
    betweeen self and doubt

    I like those lines a lot. it speaks of denial, and of keeping doubt away, a way to protect our fragile ego. Once the illusion we have of ourself is shattered our ego is forced into submission.


  • Sarah957
    September 1, 2007
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    This is officially deemed deep thought for the day. Your poem really gets my mind spinning.

  • bluecollarlove
    September 1, 2007
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    I can see after reading 2 of your poems your going to make me reflect on my life.


  • Lucian Valcor
    August 30, 2007

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    wow this was definetly a powerful piece of poetry i loved this you put allot of emotions into this one that showed throughout and flowed perfectly you are a true poet great work

    Temple~


  • Reece Magic
    August 29, 2007

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    A+++

    Oh, wow, I really like this one. Illusion is a powerful thing to write about, and most seem to never get it right. I guess I have a way I would write about it, but you, I could have never written it like this. Your point is made, and in my favorite verse here:

    "like a capitalist without capital
    a conqueror without conquests or
    a vocabulary without expression"

    It is one of the best verses I have read in some time. A vocabulary without expression, impressive.


  • poet girl
    August 29, 2007

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    The truth really let itself show in this write."Each of us has an illusion about ourselves." This is so true. Guess we should look at ourselves more. pen on, poet...


  • arafura gold member
    August 28, 2007

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    illusions...

    Congratulations! a very worthy trophy winner. Yes we all have illusions about ourselves. A smarter man than I once said we are all three diferent people... Who we think we are. Who others think we are. Who we really are!


  • drybones
    August 25, 2007
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    Very good

    You were kind enough to read and comment on one of my pieces so I thought I would return the favor.

    I find this piece to be a profound statement of an absolute truth. It is human nature to wrap ourselves in illusion, especially about ourselves and our own self-importance. Illusion is always greater than the reality.


  • zochit2me gold member
    August 23, 2007

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    and when one loses faith
    in one's own illusion

    there is nothing left

    Very deep profound words here...seemingly fitting my mood. Kind of soothing yet eye opening at the same time. I am so glad I came across this. Keep your ink flowing my friend.

    Becky


  • zt
    August 23, 2007

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    I like your observations. It is too bad that your conclusion is true for so many people. I am reminded of a quote from a mythical philosopher:

    "Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals, and speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man."
    --Shan Yu

    That is when the illusions vanish. Keep the faith, my friend...


  • Coelogyne
    August 23, 2007
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    very n ice, i especially liked the last line, very solid ending


  • Chuck Johnson silver member
    August 17, 2007
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    Excellent

    You should have won gold! Very nicely done.


  • soulfultia gold member
    August 8, 2007
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    This my friend is a profound penning! You did an excellent job! I might have to see the three top picks in this contest to see what the heck beat this! I think this might be a fav for me of your work I have read! Excellent, excellent! ~Tia

  • graydeth
    July 18, 2007

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    Awesome!

    If this is just thoughts as you catagorized it, I want to sit in your head for awhile so I can learn how to think. Great piece.


  • Maatkara gold member
    July 16, 2007

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    Nicely done - especially the first lines; words do tend to obfuscate so much. (typo: "obstentatious" = ostentatious?).

    Not sure that losing faith in an "illusion" leaves us with nothing - but actually leads to our real Self, no?


  • macandrew
    July 11, 2007

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    and when one loses faith
    in one's own illusion
    there is nothing left

    Excellent bit of writing.

    John

  • soulfultia gold member
    July 6, 2007

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    Excellent, this was a quickie!! *pauses to get websters dictionary" You penned a thought provoking piece, it carries strength and delivers a strong message to be asborbed by the reader, excellent flow! Loved it You are a talent and always my pleasure to read! ~Tia


  • suseann
    July 5, 2007

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    "somewhere inside a picture. We believe is truth.
    And when one loses faith in one's own illusion of personal inter-truths." There is nothing left to hold on to." I may have voiced it another way. But your message and mine says the very same thing.Loss of faith in the Creator,and in one's own credo. Leaves zip nada to carry on. It's our own grounding, a balance on which we each stand. Make little difference,of the comparitive exactness. As much as the fact we each glean a footing from life's teachings.
    Well put in verse and highly relevent in message Poetess.


  • Cyber Artist Moderators member
    July 4, 2007

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    ooooo that was some deep thinking, shattered illusions I think since the advent of the Internet it has allowed many people to play out there illusions... self examination is often the brick hurled at the fragile vale we look through. a challenging and thought provoking write from a talented and focused writer....

  • Just4u
    July 4, 2007

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    I actually encourage my crumbling of walls for there is much we take as fact that simply isn't. Idols and ideals riveted in our heads as children as a form of control and later manipulated by those of false power. Self importance is a concept I don't even have for I tend to look at the big picture, and unfortunately it isn't a pretty one, if the truth be told. We can learn more about a person by their actions they we ever will by the words that pour out of their mouths.

    Absolute trust, is non-existant for me anymore, for more often then not there is a motive for too many peoples actions. There is a lot of do as I say, not as I do in the world. That is why people such as yourself will always hold a special place in my heart.

    WALLS

    tumble if you want
    for I'm tired of the view
    change, is refreshing

    Hugs and Happy 4th...

    -Eddy


  • pattyann4500
    July 3, 2007

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    How very true your words. Beautifully written and wonderfully written, Sis. Hugs, Patricia


  • leo2
    July 3, 2007

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    I never thought of it that way but I think you're right. There is nothing left when you lose faith in yourself. Best of luck in the contest.

    Sincerely,
    Leo Long
    ps. Great to see you again. I've been missing you.
    pss. 'obstentatious' I can't find that word in my dictionary.


  • wattle silver member
    July 3, 2007

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    Ms Touchy, today you have written a gem. There is something magical about the flow, the atmosphere and the message you create. Quite unique, but then you always are, were and will be. ----- Thank you.

  • cloudenvy
    July 3, 2007

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    I really like this poem and its message we all do have an illusion about ourselves and I especially like this line "Like a capitalist without a capital" that is a simile I never heard before. This poem has some unique ideas, and some of it is things I've often thought. The question I have to ponder is it healthy to live having an illusion of yourself. Me personally I try to simply be. Amazing philisophical piece of work. It got me thinking.


  • Balldinger silver member
    July 3, 2007

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    disillusioned...

    is there anything at the beginning? is it there, where it begins and we lose bits of belief along the way into the oblivion of our nothingness? and isn't nothingness worthy of our efforts? Lao Tzu seems to have alluded to it. I'm in constant wonder...i don't know.

    I enjoyed how you gently stirred the philisophical pool, and stepped cautiously into the dressing room while no one else was watching and changed as the rest of us sat scratching our chins and looking up words like obstentatious and vacuity. Very clever, Ms. 1der. I give high marks and praise. ~ Ed


  • astralshepherd gold member
    July 3, 2007

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    obstentatious - l like it - i like it a lot. keeps the mind on its toes, so to speak, i am very familiar with my own illusion, the "who" that i pretend to be is not at all the person i truly am...i live or almost live, on the edge of that knife - never really know which slice will be percieved as i wrestle with shadow, personna and the mask that is me.

    wonderful poem, dear poet,

    blessings and best wishes,

    ~r.

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