Im not your [[ Barbie Doll ]]
That you can play with
Dress up and Control
Im your [[ Unpretty ]] Little Disaster
Im not your [[ Game ]]
You cant set me up
And take turns
You cant win me
Im not a Prize
Im your [[ Unpretty ]] Little Disaster
Im not a [[ Puzzle ]]
Once you break me
You cant pick up the Pieces
And put me together
Im your [[ Unpretty ]] Little Disaster
Im not a [[ Sport ]]
You can play
An object for you and your [[Friends ]]
To kick around
Im your [[ Unpretty ]] Little Disaster
A contest entry
- Give me emotion by Logans-Mommy.
1700 points, ended April 17, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes. by XXxXBassMeisterxXxX.
306 points, ended June 1, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I liked the poem. the only thing i didn't like was the braquets. they distracted me, but overall nice write. the only thing wrong was the braquets.
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i think that there could have been less gaps in the lines and that, distracted me from the words and the point of the poem
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its okay
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i love this alot.....alot, alot.
people shouldn't treat people like this, it's very wrong as you can sence through your poetry. This has happened to me as well, thats one reson why i like this poem, cause i can relate to this. to be some ones doll isn't fun you end up resenting your self for letting them do it to you, stand up and say no. sorry but your poem hit my soft spot and sparked my emotions. i love it
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Im not a [[ Puzzle ]]
Once you break me
You cant pick up the Pieces
And put me together
Love that stanza.Great poem and creative too. -
"Im not a [[ Sport ]]
You can play
An object for you and your [[Friends ]]
To kick around
Im your [[ Unpretty ]] Little Disaster "
is a good stanza.
but what i dis like is the over use of double brackets.
This should only be used in parenthesis
Not in attempt to make somthing dirrty pretty.
xx
♥
but please. dont get me wrong. i enjoyed it greatly. -
Well, you definately managed to bring accross the message to the one you've written this for. Very strong and powerful words you have here
Keep it up!
Leander -
this was awsome,sometimes i feel the same and not just in love situations
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love sucks and people are assholes but this rocks
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dirty pretty i think, a milder notion than usual, well done very expressive; a chain of small points to make a big picture...PK
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=]
This was nice.
I enjoyed this.
Very nice.
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