Bright yellow beams of sunlight shine down,
and are gently washed over her face. The
meadow is filled with daffodils, and the soft yellow
dress is pleasingly simple. Her chocolate colored hair
is pulled carelessly back with a loose knot, her
dirty feet are shoeless. These feet run wildly,
Freely, through the open field, with the
joyful sounds of laughter floating all around.
and she starts whirling round and round,
until dizziness overwhelms her and she
drops down gently into the silky, smooth, soft bed
of flowers. The breathtaking scent of the
flowers overpowers her and she lies there,
surrounded by serenity and peace.
“Life is wonderful.”
Author notes
Written for school. Don't read.
_
Comments
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I'm bad at this following instructions thing. I keep reading ones I'm not suppose to. Great use of the senses to make the reader aware of the scene. Maybe try to replace one of the 'flowers' in lines 12 & 13 (even if it's just with daffodils again). I just think it's awkward to read the word twice in that amount of time. Once again, nicely written.
Jesse -
wow-good description!
I like the ending. great job!
keep it up!
pegleg -
Beautiful write
a picture painted perfectly of peace and tranquility. I can smell the fresh aroman even now
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