I was eating lunch el fresco,
in the zoological gardens by the sea.
Reading a book about pirates,
a librarian had found for me.
Eating my fresh shrimp sandwiches,
with apple slices in between,
I turned the pages of the book,
making sure to keep fingers clean.
Captain Cutlass was the pirates name
A slippery character with a cutlass.
Whose target was the Navy`s ships
This wicked pirate was ruthless.
Currupt Cutlass had sent many to a watery grave
A Subterranean jail the end for this notorious knave
Author notes
fresco, zoological, librarian, shrimp, apple, captain
corrupt, slippery, cutlass, target, grave,
subterranean, jail.
A contest entry
- PIF Semi-quickie Word Bank Challenge by Epistomolus.
525 points, ended July 3, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Great write! I love the background, I love the flow of this poetry. You have wonderful way with the English language. If, I was judging I would give you gold for this one. Best of luck in the contest.
-
Nice!
You tell a story, beginning to end, and use the words without anything being forced. I like the aliteration and assonance
You apparently changed the name of the pirate from Captain Cutlass to Captain Corrupt (or vice-versa) at some point, and might want to correct that for posterity.
I would have liked a more consistent meter, but that's not a criterion for this particular contest.
Overall, a lot of fun - thank you for participating. -
Well done on this entertaining poem. Word banks are a real challenge to write and make sense at the same time, I find. Great one for the kids too.
Ann
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