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Nothing Wrong

I tried to be the way they wanted, failed,
and hurt my heart in trying. What was wrong
with God's creation? Yet I was assailed
with expectations, shyly sang along
an inauthentic song of others' words,
and so forgot my own. No use in lies,
real love accepts. Though cattle run in herds,
I need not hide myself with fear's disguise:
for every person bears a sacred part
of God within, and each must let it shine.
My words express ideas of my heart
in thoughts and images uniquely mine.
The message of my life is simply this -
reveal yourself, and also find your bliss.


10:45 GMT +2
ready

Author notes

Rewritten as http://allpoetry.com/poem/3154488

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Maatkara gold member
    July 16, 2007
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    Beautiful thoughts and truth expressed in a fine sonnet If there is any flaw in it it's not noticeable with the assonance and internal rhymes adding richness to the sound.

    The closing couplet is excellent. Like Joseph Campbell said, "follow your bliss"


  • suseann
    July 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    So true. Our own diference of personal experiances is the glue that grounds us all to terra firma.


    • MargaretG
      July 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks very much, suseann So many people let a difference make a difference, when variety is so interesting. Thank you for your great comment.

  • ea silver member
    July 4, 2007

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    Hmm, I think a lot about this being on this site and constantly getting added and then deleted as a favorite because of lacking the herd mentality. lol. So tell me where the volta is... (I'm shading my eyes, looking out over the landscape.)


    • MargaretG
      July 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! That is an electrifying question, Marcy, was I thinking about a volta, is a volta necessary in an English sonnet? um, look around line 8 instead of the usual line 9. (forgive a little silliness) This sonnet is unfinished, inspirations occurring after the 2-hour writing window don't count. I have a better version on my computer.
      There is a quote for you from Anthony de Mello (worth reading more widely IMHO): "My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from it fine; if you don’t, too bad!"


  • klassy lassy
    July 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    How often I forget that I am part of God's creation, too, with a light of reflection uniquely mine, not to be discounted or boxed. A timely message of gentle light you leave here for us, Margaret, thoughtfully and beautifully penned. Love, Karen


    • MargaretG
      July 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Karen How often we forget, and accept or give what is not fitting for our nature. Not me, not you, not anymore.


  • Terry-too silver member
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    True to the core, and so well expressed,
    And as usual, the flawless form!
    Lovely poem, M!

    Terry


    • MargaretG
      July 4, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for applause and kindness, Terry! I find the first six lines choppy, but since this was supposed to be a 2 hour contest I hesitate to rewrite it before judging. I think we both have had enough of people-pleasing!


  • MyrddinEmrys silver member
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Shine on, shine strong...

    "...for every person bears a sacred part
    of God within, and each must let it shine.

    ...The message of my life is simply this -
    reveal yourself, and also find your bliss."

    Well put in beautiful style and form. In the awakening to Self and in shining It forh, we truly sing our Father's Song, we truly live.

    Be ever bright and blessed,

    Rahad


    • MargaretG
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you dear Rahad - we don't have to think or plan, because what we are is ready to be expressed. I'm blessed by your presence, thank you for your kindness.


  • SEA angel gold member
    July 3, 2007

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    This is revealing

    I love the thought of "reveal yourself". I thought I'd reveal myself with a "Hi". I wanted to express my gratitude for your revealing yourself saying "Hi" back. I've seen you finding your bliss and you've seen me searching lost and found for my bliss. There it is! The bliss of your friendship. I'm glad I found it. Thank You


    • MargaretG
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Dear Sea, thank you again for helping me find myself through writing. It is a wonderful gift that you have shared with me. Life is full of miracles.


  • maa gold member
    July 3, 2007

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    I couldn't have expressed it better ...
    like you, I have tried to sing society's song, although it didn't resonate with my own soul, until I realized that the only reward was rejection, after all ... didn't I sing it in order to avoid their seal of condemnation ?
    the only way out : listening to my own soul-song and softly humming it, very hesitantly first, but a bit louder now ... it's not an aria worth of acclamation, but the birds sing along with me ...


    maa


    • MyrddinEmrys silver member
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      My dear little bird... every note of Life's Song, of which you/You are an essential part, is a masterpiece in its own right (or write, in this realm). Sing on, sing strong, sing free...

      Rahad

1 - 15 of 15