summer day, canary yellow
paint splattered across
overalls and pick-up trucks.
breathing hard, pinpricks of
hollowness shooting up this
stretched-out spine.
we fresco (alfresco),
you and me, on the cobblestoned street,
as smoke curls out into the languid light.
heart drums against this
corseted rib-cage; looks through
a kaleidoscope of emotions,
twisted subtly through the
translucent air.
opaque dreams: thoughts undone
warm love sifting through the
shadows, reaching
me across the paint buckets,
across this gulf
of sticky air-drops, oppressive
stillness hanging from the
clouds.
tension: graceless smiles
but suddenly,
the Santa Ana arrives,
blowing our hair into the skies,
sweeping pressure into the seas,
jolting our lips together,
the colors over one another.
red splashes, green spills,
we drown in rainbows and
we paint invisible love.
Author notes
Please don't DQ this because of number of lines -- there are less than 35 lines if you take out the spaces between lines!
A contest entry
- Dark Vs. Light I by Austere.
900 points, ended September 15, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Get Me Out of My Sad Place by KissMeGoodnight.
700 points, ended October 1, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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woooow.
this is extremely amazing.
had me smiling and wishing that this could happen to me! tho i am a little envious of ur AMAZING talent lol i absolutely love this. -
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Aww thank you, I'm so glad you liked it. I hope it made you a bit happier!
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Good Write!
I like it. It is so bright, so happy. I am glad someone actually took that approach. I am sick of everything being exclusively dark. Good write and good luck.
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Ah, this is cool! The metaphors, the imagery and the emotions.. you've really nailed all these three aspects in this poem. I like where you went with the title, intersting interpreation
Great write, thanks for your entry and good luck!
(don't worry, the limit is on written lines only)
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