Snapping silly strings; smothering in obesity and you [cracked] under the surface, hiding your face in your hands and scratching away your eyelids with rose-colored engagement rings that reminded you of him.
You cried under your skin and tapped out love letters into the sky, scribbling on the backs of necks and notebooks; (I always missed you, you know)
Too bad I never did anything about it;; too bad I never tried to keep you.
I'm letting go in books and words, and my hips hug the inside of my jeans like a security blanket on a binge.
But the stars they never shine when you're not around, and I'm still sitting here,
playing with the leaves in my hair and wondering what's taking you so long to realize I'm in love with you.
Tape measures and sticky buns, twenty-two hours later and I still can't forgive you for saying you'd call. You never were going to were you? There was a time when I sat on my bed, pulled the strings out of the mattress cover and shoved my phone under my hair so that I would feel it if it decided to sing to me.
And then hours later, it still hadn't rang and it felt just like all those times he told me he loved me.
Chlorine stings your eyes when they're open,
(but then again, red was always your color wasn't it?)
Slip-slide sun beams played up against a cockshell moon, plastic blue pools in the backyard heat, and if you press your nose against the glass you can almost see the waves in the air.
(Window kisses are always better when there's someone on the other side)
Coral face paint and cheeks tinged with mascara smears, your eyes are lying when they say that they don't miss me.
I felt your breath on my ear, and I saw you mouth "goodbye", but I guess it never felt real to me until you kissed her, and then it felt like a drop-kick to the stomach.
You swore up and down that you would never say you hated me, but after you looked me in the mouth and shot me down with a smirk, I think it had the same effect.
We were never good together, but I always liked to pretend. You know, starshine and sunny days, dandelion wishes and all those cliches?
You used to laugh at my superficial nature, and kiss me when I was down,
now it's all inside out and I'm standing on the curb and pulling on the ends of my wet hair to feel normal again.
[And I miss feeling like rainbows were enough]
Author notes
"Let's take it from the top"
Tinkerbell-Or-Me
:] hey babes.♥
A contest entry
- Yay for Options♥ by love tank x.
1050 points, ended July 8, 2007, 26 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Sky is Alive by sweetpearl.
2975 points, ended July 29, 2007, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [Trace The Moment, Fall Forever] by LucyLightning.
600 points, ended September 21, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
"It smelt like cheap perfume;; and it didn't smell like you;;"
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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awe, becca
i absolutly loved this, yes *nods* 
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wow.
this was so totally beautiful, darling.
You swore up and down that you would never say you hated me, but after you looked me in the mouth and shot me down with a smirk, I think it had the same effect.
We were never good together, but I always liked to pretend. You know, starshine and sunny days, dandelion wishes and all those cliches?
^^favorites.
FINALISSSST.
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oh this was AMAZING...
I loved every word, all of it!!!
"You used to laugh at my superficial nature, and kiss me when I was down,
now it's all inside out and I'm standing on the curb and pulling on the ends of my wet hair to feel normal again."
stunning my dear. really
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Ah, so I think this is your first time entering one of my contests, yay for that! I'm glad you posted on my last contest so I found you because you're great, the prose is incredible. God I hate men ... make that people, in general. I never love the right ones.
"Snapping silly strings... - ...that reminded you of him."
--not sure if the alliteration was intentional or not, but I like it. I love the "s" sound, it makes it slide off the tongue. So slippering and slithery, yes!! I also like the imagery here, I can almost feel myself scratching my own eyes to rid them of his image.
"You cried under your skin... - ...too bad I never tried to keep you."
--reminds me of those days I used to lay on my trampoline in the middle of my yard (we used to have a giant yard that backed out on to a river), I'd stare at the sky writing things in the clouds ... sometimes I wish I wrote them down. Missing people can get really aggravating ... it gives me a headache. I wonder why I give so much love when I never receive any in return. The last line here reminds me SO much of my first "crush" I guess you can say. We never really made it to dating but we were close enough ... after the fight, I never did anything to try and make it better ... and I blame the falling out on myself.
"I'm letting go in books and words... - ...what's taking you so long to realize I'm in love with you."
--you could be waiting a long time ... they never realize and when they do, they don't seem to give a shit. Why? Well for me, like I said, I always fall for the wrong people ... ones that never like me for who I am.
"Tape measures and sticky buns... - ...all those times he told me he loved me."
--never believe someone when they say they're going to call. I have only gotten ONE call out of all the people that said they were gonna call. It's very irritating and makes me sad. When you're depressed, you only get more depressed when they pull shit like that. I like the image of having the phone under your ear as you rest your head on your pillow. It's sadness and longing.
"Chlorine stings your eyes... - ...you can almost see the waves in the air."
--I like the idea here, pretty good and original. Red is their colour, it's the colour of blood and rage. You chose some fantastic wording here, wow. The last bit of the last line (after the last comma) is, for lack of a better word, awesome!
"(Window kisses are always better when there's someone on the other side)"
--hah, true!
"Coral face paint and cheeks tinged... - ...it felt like a drop-kick to the stomach."
--ouch. I can see this all being played out. That has got to hurt. I hate when they purposely break your heart. E-snuggles (yeah I'm lame so what?)
"You swore up and down... - ...I think it had the same effect."
--I like "looked me in the mouth", because they can't look in your eyes, that's for damn sure.
"We were never good together... - ...my wet hair to feel normal again."
--I like the ring in the line "you know" and it flows well. I freaking love the line "kiss me when I was down", I adore it so much ... personal reasons.
"[And I miss feeling like rainbows were enough]"
--rainbows are pretty. They are quite simple ... but I guess it goes that way, simplistic is never the way it will be after you "grow up". Not sure if that makes sense but I loved this.
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fcking amazing
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Coral face paint and cheeks tinged with mascara smears, your eyes are lying when they say that they don't miss me.
I felt your breath on my ear, and I saw you mouth "goodbye", but I guess it never felt real to me until you kissed her, and then it felt like a drop-kick to the stomach.
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
-this was beautifully written, i understand that "drop-kick to the stomach feeling" oh too well. great piece, luck in the contest,
lys
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haha thanks for the comment :]]
I actually got gold in the contest
♥
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this is fantastic.... what a trip!
your words pulled me right into a moment... the moment where all of this is going through your mind...
very, very super cool
this is going into my favorites list
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"And then hours later, it still hadn't rang and it felt just like all those times he told me he loved me."
I thought this was one of my favorite lines and by the time I finished I decided I couldn't choose!
This is stunning, girl!
It is written so beautifully, I really don't know what else to say!
I just love it!
Grogeous!
And great job! <3
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I'm not sure what I can add that hasn't been said. This feels very busy to me like 3 people talking at once. I liked it though b/c my mind is always like that. Plus it forced me to read it like 3 times and I kept finding new favorite lines. Excellent imagery! My favorite part....(Window kisses are always better when there's someone on the other side)
Coral face paint and cheeks tinged with mascara smears, your eyes are lying when they say that they don't miss me.
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I still can't forgive you for saying you'd call. You never were going to were you?
- hu. even in my relationship he won't call when he sais he would. it hurts. specially if ur sittig there waiting for it.
ohterwise
i like it. its very unusual.
very...real.
keep it. unless something about it is really bothering you. then just change it
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I've never said this before to any writer on AP...
You have my vote for prose. I do hope you continue to study and write. I see the seeds of promise in your style.
Best of luck in the contest.
-df- -
This is my favorite:
I'm letting go in books and words, and my hips hug the inside of my jeans like a security blanket on a binge.
But the stars they never shine when you're not around, and I'm still sitting here,
playing with the leaves in my hair and wondering what's taking you so long to realize I'm in love with you.
but I adored the entire story and I know how all of it feels....all too well.
Your imagery is always so awesome! Painting picture after picture in my mind, so descriptive, and not in a same old same old way...
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O.O
Well holy shit.
Normally I am pretty sceptical about prose, so few people can write it well... but FUCK this is amazing!
I could pick favourite lines but I think I'd end up with almost the entire thing...
In a word; WOW
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wow. this is AMAZING. great imagery, plus i love the title. great write!!!
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awesome.... so awesome... i seriously wish i had wrote this... and then i could claim this as mine.... it went off like a rocket and landed like a poem perfect from 1st to last...
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oh holy heckaboob!
that was wow.. shit.
ok so first off there was this summery feeling in the middle but it had this heartache that i dont think i have ever read before.
damn girly.. you fuckin kicked ASS! i wouldn't be surprised if this ended up on the finalists. you deserve pretty babes;
♥
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Forgot the clappies
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"I'm letting go in books and words, and my hips hug the inside of my jeans like a security blanket on a binge.
But the stars they never shine when you're not around, and I'm still sitting here,
playing with the leaves in my hair"
"Chlorine stings your eyes when they're open,
(but then again, red was always your color wasn't it?)
Slip-slide sun beams played up against a cockshell moon, plastic blue pools in the backyard heat, and if you press your nose against the glass you can almost see the waves in the air.
(Window kisses are always better when there's someone on the other side)"
"now it's all inside out and I'm standing on the curb and pulling on the ends of my wet hair to feel normal again."
"I felt your breath on my ear, and I saw you mouth "goodbye", but I guess it never felt real to me until you kissed her, and then it felt like a drop-kick to the stomach."
Ya know, I think this might be one of your best works that I've read. It really touched me. I understand about the weight thing; I've been gaining and I don't know why. I guess the summer? It really fucks with my head though; I can't deal with it, and that is why it must GO. Somehow.
As for the boy; gah I HATE when they say they'll call and they don't. It's like they're teasing you. I'm sorry if this piece is personal, but sometimes things happen for a reason. I know it's hard now, but in the longrun, it could be for the best. You never know. =] Wonderful job and thanks for entering babe! -
This was beautiful. Truly heartbreaking, because you seem to be able to write over and over again, my exact feelings.
I miss feelings like rainbows were enough.
To the fullest.
wow.
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"Snapping silly strings"
---- I ADORE the alliteration =]
"
[And I miss feeling like rainbows were enough]"
--- me too.
I love you so much baby! ♥
~Princess of Shadows~
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