So we decided not to be in love,
as if it were a thing that we could choose;
we were a pair, we fit like hand in glove
it just seemed that we had too much to lose.
We set ourselves apart, and in silence
made pacts sworn after our most holy vow,
so born from desperation, common sense
and a concession to the here and now.
Great love be not forsaken so lightly
we sail through life and etch a mark on stone
ships founder, as life is a stormy sea;
the final weight should not be born alone.
Great love has no end, in the loving heart
which gives and receives, never to depart.
Author notes
Shakespearian[English] Sonnet, iambic pentameter
In a list
A contest entry
- carte blanche by Annalise.
360 points, ended July 17, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - English Sonnets- Prompt: Nature by mborda.
650 points, ended July 13, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sonnets, sonnets, and more sonnets by RatherImaginative.
1925 points, ended September 8, 2007, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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bravo
This is really quite an excellent sonnet! Superb and wonderful... bravo ... bravo... bravo..
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Lines 1 and 2 of the second stanza are each missing a syllable, but very good meter otherwise. I like the apparent conflicting reasons for the speaking of vows: desperation and common sense, considering how the couple in the poem tries to avoid it. It's true, actually, and you've made sure to include that one other important condition . . . the giving and receiving. Thanks so much for entering my contest!
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Thanks for editing!
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I adore that first line.
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Amazing..and so very beautiful...You seem to write with such ease..leaving such beauty for your readers..
Peace...best wishes with this entry.
~A~
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Great Sonnet!
Perfect syllables and the rhythm went well. It's a little off topic (nature) but still a great read. It's amazing to me how much punch can be put into two lines that rhyme! Great Job!
Monique
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nice poem
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So true, your final couplet.
Your iambic pentameter is, well, in some lines not iambic pentameter. Line 5 is a perfect example. You have 11 syllables and end the line without a stress.
It could use some work, but not too much. It's a good piece, but look it over.
Nice to see someone doing a sonnet and also attempting the meter with it. -
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thanks fan
well it was even worse before, i will get it done..thanks for the edit...PK
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bravo
Very beautiful write. You explain love in your own creative way.
"Great love has no end, in the loving heart
which gives and receives, never to depart."
Those were my favorite line and they pretty summed up the poem. Excellent write. -
This is a beautiful description of enduring love. Partners may drift apart and can cease saying words of love ... but love's essence remains ... even if hidden from sight.
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A lovely sonnet with good content. Love is as such, that if denied, it reigns stronger, whether you wish it to or not. Denying it simply means prolonging the truth. Thanks for sharing. Laura x
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So true
A wonderful sonnet with a heart warming theme. It is comforting to read of someone who appreciates true love...great love...and you put it in your sonnet so well.
The word 'founder' is a new one to me. I have trouble hearing the iambic pentameter, so I take your word on that one, but I do hear the rhyme and I like it because it has unusual words that rhyme.
The final two sentences round the poem off well, with a compact theme for thought.
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great job!
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You write sonnets so easily as if they fall straight from your pen to a page without effort. I know this is not true but its the way they read. This is soft and beautiful Love, C
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You write sonnets so easily as if they fall straight from your pen to a page without effort. I know this is not true but its the way they read. This is soft and beautiful Love, C
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