Dusk:
the way
the shadows
(creeping) lengthen
reminds me-- your blue eyes
(like the thunderstorm) full
and heavy, like my heart (was)
sinking down, past the horizon.
But the sun always rises eastward
A contest entry
- In Search of the Elite (Round 1) by zillion.
375 points, ended July 25, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Your punctuation is very strange. I'm not sure that I like it, but I could guess that it's probably "your thing" or whatever, and I do respect that people have their own style.
I like the thought of lengthened shadows. -
very light and crisp


