Crossing my mind, disturbance,
Seeing you, and her.
Taking your last breath
In her arms, you meet demise
by the blood on her steel.
and all I do is gawk...
Wondering why.
When delusions end, and vigor begins
You're still cognizant.
I can't help but apprehend
You will breath no more.
Perched there, on that swing,
I knelt beside you,
And whispered "I always loved you",
While you and her sat in each others embrace.
No one could say how they felt.
...I'd never hurt you...
I turn and tread away.
I'll never heed you again,
But I could never announce
What she'd do to you.
Because you wouldn't regard it.
Your affection for her is blind...
And I'm unseeing as well.
Author notes
I hope this hits the topic.
In a list
A contest entry
- - Desire Mental Stimulation - (Placebo Two) by Desire.
1400 points, ended July 6, 2007, 3 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Do you have what it takes by Improv Machinery.
400 points, ended July 5, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - -4 Hours To Enter Your Great Writes in These Categories! Prewrites Welcome! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended July 15, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i can fell some personel stuff in this one...especially in the last two lines.
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This one is really sweet... I can feel the sadness and emotion within this piece all written over each word. Nicely done.
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Thank You!
Welcome to my contest with this piece penned:
Unseeing
Each line delivers emotion as You speak.
Can feel the tug from the Heartstrings in each
breath exhaled.
This particular contest grabs me close because of
prompt and words each entrant speaks to one with
Life to leave
Your Gift of Compassion has been accepted!
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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a great write. i think im going to have to read this a few more times so i can fully get the message, but i just love it. ive been in that kind of a spot before. i know how it feels to open up to someone and they just turn a blind eye. thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
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Oh wow, this is for me, I swear, I just said this to someone, wanting to tell him of "her" but I took the higher ground...what a great write...your words placed perfectly to paint the picture in my mind..And i too had thought those same insane mental pics in my mind about the demise.....simply Brilliant. Good luck! Well deserving of a shiney!
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haha! Thank you so much! I enjoyed writting this one.
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you did such a wonderful job. Keep penning the words you used was a great style . wonderful job on such a dark poem.
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