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Sapphire and Salt

I'm weightless
I'm gone
My heart beats
in rhythm with one

of pure sapphire and salt

 

This endless blue

I'm alone

yet i'm not

Under its surface

It's silent

and i am complete

 

Above I see the sky

I wonder

if they reach for

each other

if the rain connects them

Like an eternal love

 

And again

I'm gone

No worries

Forever in beat

My heart belongs here
I belong here

In this place

Full of life

 

I close my eyes

I can clearly see

It's heart of Sapphire and Salt

Author notes

Username: Sia
Snow as in white

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • DawnKestrel
    April 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is just beautiful!!!!!
    I've looked at the picture and I think this poem captured my feelings aswell!

  • Cyclical
    January 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I took this piece as a very "in the moment" write, and loved it. You captured so much in this small span of time!

    Thanks for entering!


  • Frodofan silver member
    October 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I think the line breaks in places made it slightly choppy (though this is possibly intentional and to mimick the choppiness of waves?).


    I'd like to see the word "I" captialized as it should be and I do think general punctuation would be nice.


  • Beating gold member
    August 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "if the rain connects them
    Like an eternal love"
    I love those lines. This piece is really original, and the feelings you describe seem so amzing. I especially love the first stanza!


  • xXxtyxXx
    July 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    i shur wish i could feel like that....,hehe i can when i take a pain pill....newayze great job


  • Stone Guardian 1991
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    That is the most amazing poem I have ever heard or rather read. It just makes me want to hear more but in a good way. If you write a sequel let me know. Again I love it.


    • Sia
      July 27, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I actually might put a short story I made from this on storywrite, but i might consider a sequel you'll be the first to know.

  • mermaidchick94
    July 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful, just lovely.

    great emotion, creative descriptions, i felt like i was really there, though it's more of a feeling than a place.


  • jasminerose
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    To see beyond the reach of what presents itself is truly a gift in this poetic piece you have shared!
    Such beautiful imagery and I just adore the Sapphire and Salt! Excellent!!
    Thank you so very much for this very lovely entry for my contest
    Jasminerose


    • Sia
      July 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks

      I loved the picture for for the contest. It was really beautiful. Thanks for the comment ^_^

1 - 10 of 10