Clouds
Making pictures
Showing on baby blue skies
Bunnies play tag with kangaroos
Representing the skies' beautiful forms
When the clouds are making colors
I see their beautiful sights
Always changing
Clouds
Author notes
I'm 10!!!
A contest entry
- Ages 13 and Under ONLY ~ Rictameters! by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended July 13, 2007, 10 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For the kids 13 and younger: Anything to cheer me! by Sky Prince Ireland.
300 points, ended January 20, 2008, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Does everyone like my NEWEST poem?!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Bright and touching. Very nice.
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Such lovely imagery throughout this entire piece. This is a real joy to read. It takes the reader's mind on a wonderful journey. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
celticmoon
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It's even more beautiful but you still have a couple lines with wrong syllable counts. For example "creating" is 3 syllables not 2
Also check the 2nd to last line, there's still a bit too many syllables there. I always count them on my fingers as I say the words slowly else I mess up sounding them out like they are said not spelled cre-ate-ing etc 
Otherwise I ALWAYS mess up! I'll come back and check it out again but you are doing wonderfully!
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hehe thank you so much. I will try to fix it on my own at fist anyway...
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This is really good I like the imagery of this. You are a litle off on counting your syllables, but not too bad really. I'll send you a note with some suggestions that may help you
And be back once the contest ends to see how you've done
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nice poem
God imagenations in your penmanship. If you are only ten You sir will be brilliant in a matter of years. I am sure you have head one matures with age. with age you will be a brain.. hang in there and keep up the writing little man who is growing very fast.
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i do like this form you have used here; once you know how to use it you can write many poems in this form. Keep writing....
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This is a very relaxing piece of work!!!! For a ten year old this is wonderful.. You are very gifted and have many years ahead to polish you art!!!! Your piece is lovely, soft and calming to the reader!!! I hate poems with too many punctuations. I like few or better still, as your is none at all!!! Every poet has there own style of write and reading!!!! I like all kinds of poem, if they make sense, but I love those void of capts. and punct. I have only one suggestion for your write, in line 6 did you mean "turning colors"? Keep on typing!!!
J
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correct! I'll fix that!
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