I love…
Flowers blooming in my garden
A child’s innocent laughter
Puppies breath as they lick my face
My grandmother’s strange sense of humour
Chocolate of course!
Sweet gentle kisses,
And passionate ones too
The beauty I see in every face
The sound of wolves howling
Ocean waves lapping at the shore
Fish and chips on the beach with cream soda to drink
A hand to hold
My children
Fresh fallen snow
The sound of crickets at night
Autumn leaves before they fall to the ground
Springs new growth poking up from the earth
Music from the seventies
Strawberry daiquiris sipped through a straw
The smell of bread fresh from the oven
Eyes that meet in recognition,
Realizing they have met before
Dancing in my best friends kitchen late at night after too much to drink
Reading, learning and growing
A sky full of stars and lying on a blanket gazing at them,
Hopefully with someone special
Reminding myself of all the things I love!
A contest entry
- Write Me a List Poem by chordphrute.
1000 points, ended August 29, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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This was so wonderful to read, brightened my day! Thanks.
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Hiya - thanks for entering!
Critiques first.
Try to avoid cliche. You can describe all of the 'sweet' and happy things you are talking about and still avoid cliche. Think of your verbs, separate them from the rest. Think of your adjectives and descriptive terms, your nouns, etc - don't use the first word that comes to mind. Take a few minutes to think about a metaphor for the same, or a simile. Take a minute with a thesaurus and go through each line, making sure each word is absolutely perfect. If you have to use a cliche as metaphor or simile - use it and milk it for everything you can. Maybe there's another context for the phrase you don't think of directly.
On the positive side - I do like what's in your head. You absolutely followed the guidelines and I thank you for that. I LOVE that it's not grammatical. I love that you draw your reader in by using things accessible to all (i.e. cream soda, fish and chips, crickets, daquiris).
My favorite two lines : "Eyes that meet in recognition / Realizing they have met before"
Thank you for entering - good luck! -
Simply delightfull...!
Pam, this is so delightful I am blown away completely, all the thing that you Love! so true of you, nary a negative word or thought, you grow more and more precious by the day...I see this was written some time ago, but some things never change, like Love
John PS I will print this out and read it every time I'm feeling a bit blue!
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Aw...thank you so much John. That is so sweet. If this inspires you to think happy thoughts then I am blessed! Pam
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Breathtakingly Beautiful...
You have a HUGE heart, they don't make 'em as large as yours anymore.
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Aw shucks.
Thanks a bunch! 
Pam
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So lovely!
Your list is inspiring and heart-warming, nothing there that is not on mine! Snap!
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Thank you! I just found your comment on my poem! Sometimes comments are not showing up on my home page, I've found a few I have missed. Sorry about that! Pam
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Beautiful !
What an absolutely inspiring write this is. You have described so many things here, that I can relate to myself. Awesome...I loved this write
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Thank you so much for you lovely comment! I am glad you liked it and could relate to it.
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a romantic journey here into a sort of paradise.ocean waves. crickets,strawberry daiquiris. you certainly take us there . well done ..peter
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Thank you so much for your comment.
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Beautiful!
The best things in Life are free and very simple...this is a lovely write full of good things that create fond memories!...I like it a lot!...a beautiful list!...Dan xxx
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Very Good
Reading, learning and growing
A sky full of stars and lying on a blanket gazing at them,
Hopefully with someone special
Reminding myself of all the things I love!
Some very good thoughts in this
Love to see you pace the reader
Rick
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