freed
by the breeze
a leaf
floats
augustly on air
to give itself
back
to the earth
from
a single branch
it
falls
but
to every branch
one day
returns
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is a good write, AJ. It's hard to feel an emotional punch from this at the moment, but I'm sitting in an air conditioned office at 8 pm. The first two lines kick it off very well, no waste, we're dropped right into it. The separation of "a leaf" fits the action, and holds to the brevity. "Augustly" is well chosen for all the obvious reasons... it holds the tone, lifts the mood. The last three stanzas don't overwhelm, return to the earth is a theme we've (of course) heard before, but it fits and the transition from single to every offers that little extra kick.
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you speak profoundly. very nice progression here.
justin -
Agusutly on air is such a beautiful line. This feels earthy and alive and makes me ache for autumn. You write wonderfully.
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returns, however is never the same....
reminds me of seeing my bony garden.. the wooden stalks with tangled skinny vines, the cabbages have tousled heads slick with the moonlight... its everything familiar.. it seems so simple at the time and yet really its made with unknown hands and when the garden returns it is never quite the same
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so succinct - yet you manage to toss an "augustly" onto the page. so that's how one gets the readers to like them so much, huh?
so much has been said already -- I'll leave this one with a simple "enviable write Al, as always."
-- Kim
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There is such a sense of peace in these words, and imagery that (for me) moves in slow motion. There is wonder in nature, and it lives in your eloquently written poetry. This is simply beautiful!
Much Love ♥
Renee
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little leaf laughing
on the way
to the fall
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this is beautiful
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perfection
not only are your words perfect but what your are describing is perfect. great job mate, keep it up.
^Xerox^
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Exquisite
So beautiful- that delicate and graceful descent; then it gives itself back to the tree and each leaf with its' decomposition. The life cycle...as old as time, and so nicely celebrated in such fine words.
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No ideas but in things.
the image is the thing.
spare, nothing wasted.
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Niiiicccceee...Beautiful analogy.
-C -
Drifts down like a falling leaf
truths are spoken
nice one
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from the earth to the earth. very nicely penned. simple yet brilliant. that has to be a mataphor somewhere...enjoyed.
blu
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This is serene, and yet leaves deepness of thought. Beautiful poetry!
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I remember, long ago, when I used to indulge in mind altering ... ummmmm .... stuff. I used to think about life and compare my life to that of a leaf. Hehe. Goofy stuff like that. That is what this reminded me of, in a good way though. Must have been the spiraling.
Desiree
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Presentation perfect,pacing the freefalling poetry that carries the leaf.At first I was uncertain about the inclusion of "augustly" wondering if it perhaps paired to well with the "air" within the same line but at the second read through I realized it too was perfect at denoting the strength within the connection and continuum.Kudos.
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Lovely visuals you're painted here, Al. I remember I once wrote something very similar to this... The leaf is like the love we've given...it will always return to the source. Beautiful in its simplicity and brevity.
~ Nicolette
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Stunning.
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its that free falling spiral that must unnerve the leaf-
your writes are wonderful and you are the best on this site..
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ah ... just lovely
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Multi dimensional, made me think of origami shapes, or looking at something from the back of underneath. Complex simplicity.
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very visual
and lovely... it inspires a feeling of tranquility and peace... the words themselves lend kind of a floating flow to the poem... beautifully worded...
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Al
this is a wonderfully succinct and yet fully developed poem
well done
elaine x
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Beautiful write. Wonderful imagery. Made me think of the seasons changing. Keep up the great work.
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Bravo...
Once again, dear poet, you have spun me into
oblivion
with your creative pieces...love that line..
"floats augustly on air..." excellent!
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this is beautiful, serene, and peaceful really enjoyed it.
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