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When It Rains

The roses have teardrops running down their thorns
The sky is crying heavily
The clouds are dark and heavy with sadness
When it rains

People rush quickly to any dry place
The sidewalks of a town are quiet
Flowers droop with heaviness
When it rains

A new hair-do is into a mess
A brand name dress is drenched
New shoes get ruined with mud
When it rains

Hearts are filled with longing
The children are wanting to play
But the wonderful rainbow comes out
When it rains

Author notes

#2
Lady Of Angels

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • takemypainaway
    March 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow the ups of the downs

    very hopefull poem

    very pretty picture

    thank you for entering!!

    **kat


  • Sally the Ragdoll
    August 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, the words "heavy" and "heavily" were overused a bit, but overall, this is a nice poem.
    Keep up the good work, and good luck in the contest!

    -Sally


  • edit my world.
    August 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Try not to use heavy or heaviness or heavily...lol it was overused to me. ITs a great piece because i love the rain but just the use of that word repeatedly through me off
    Thanks for entering. Great job Good Luck
    <3Dani


  • Phiona
    August 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I love how you have used the repitition of 'When it rains' to tye the whole poem together, it is very effective. Congratulations on a lovely write and Good Luck.


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    August 15, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Rich imagery here, you can feel the piece as well as see it. A lovely job you've done


  • reckless abandon
    July 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like this a lot. It's a new type of poem about rain, saying more about people than the rain itself. Thanks much for entering the contest!

    -KP]


  • HugsForEveryone
    July 3, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! This was very inspiring. I liked the first stanza best, it really explained the I liked how you were talking about beautiful roses in the rain, it made a pretty picture in my mind. Good job!


  • BeautifulNitemare
    July 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    thanks

    thanks bunches for your comments! glad to know my poetry pleases lol


  • japan
    July 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem! Takes you there. "hair do" should be "hair-do" and to make a suggestion, it might sound better to replace "all over the place" with just a one word adverb. Good descriptions. Simple and enjoyable poem. Liked the pictures it put in my head .

    japan


  • Candy6
    July 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is so beautiful well written.

    my favorite lines are:

    Hearts are filled with longing
    The children are wanting to play
    But the wonderful rainbow comes out
    When it rains


  • choaticrose
    July 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very well written, I thought this piece was very well thought out, detailed nicely and flowed with grace. It was really somehting I enjoyed reading and I look foward to reading other poems from you in the near future.
    ~ChoaticRose

1 - 11 of 11