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Come with Me

Missing image

Come with Me

Come with me, I’ll show you a mystical land
My secret paradise, well beyond the sand
Spend the day with me, upon the lovely sea
There are wonders there, this I will guarantee

Take my hand, come to my fantasy
Magical land, made for you and me
Let’s go for the day, you’ll love it so
It’s a perfect escape, this I know

Relax on my boat, relish the glow
Where the sky meets the sea far below
Your cares left behind without a trace
A smile will never leave your face

It’s a mystical time, that you will embrace
Learn the ways of the sea and the ways of grace
So forget all your cares and just take my hand
Come with me, I’ll show you a mystical land

 

 

 

Author notes

Tet Zayin Sonnet
A new Sonnet Form with a strict structure it does not have to be iambic. It has 16 lines or four quatrains. Tet Zayin is the Hebrew number 16.
Rhyme Scheme: Aabb bbcc ccdd ddaA
S1=11 syllables
S2=9 syllables
S3=9 syllables
S4 =11 syllables
Last line is the same as first.

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • PoetsAngel
    July 2, 2007

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    My this is beautiful...this sonnet form you have invented may well become my favorite form, it does tend to have a remarkable effect on me...Your words are like warm chocolate


  • Desire gold member
    July 2, 2007

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    OMG!!

    How do You get me crying
    When I opened this up...
    I just wanted to cry~
    You take the reader on a Journey-
    whether it is Dark-Light
    and the experience is one to remember,
    certainly one to write home about!
    Powerful piece-
    in stunning Form!
    Just loved this one!!!!
    One I have not tried yet
    Any challenge- You can do!
    I'm so Proud of You


    Best wishes to You in the contest
    Many blessings too
    and much love~ Desire~*~


  • Lauren Alexandra
    July 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Mystical Indeed...

    I just want to sit on the beach with you. Holding your hand, there I can gain an understanding of your power and absorb it.

    My cheeks hurt thinking about it.

    "It’s a mystical time, that you will embrace
    Learn the ways of the sea and the ways of grace
    So forget all your cares and just take my hand
    Come with me, I’ll show you a mystical land"

    All questions are answered and we can all relax in your paridise.

    Thank you,

    Love,
    Lauren


  • second-born
    July 2, 2007

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    It's amazing to read poetry with a certain form but it's more amazing to read poetry with such a heartfelt emotion...but with you...you combined the two and now we can read poems that are overflowing with talent...great write...I actually wanted to have a day out in that secret paradise...I love the picture, too...


  • bedovich
    July 2, 2007

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    sissss this is stunnnning i so love it mwahs hun


  • RedAquarius
    July 2, 2007

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    I'm running out of clever adjectives to describe how much I love your writing. It just flows so easily it seems, I envy that! This is light and windblown feeling, a carefree invitation to a day of contentment and beauty!


  • PerVirtuous
    July 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful. I love sonnets. This one is wonderful. The form is perfect and the image nothing less than divine. I want to go, but will wait my turn. Whoever you are inviting will be enchanted and forever graced. Three enthusiastic bunnies!

1 - 7 of 7