death and murder strike me cold
where life and sins are always sold
doves scream for their short lives
angels reach for their heavenly knives
choaking on the belt of god
death gives me a black nod
kicking through the devils defenses
weakened by gods heavenly offenses
the trophy of life shines green
as gods physique stays leen
playing drums for my soul
is gods red angel patrol
doves go quiet for the sound
as gods dogs stop there hound
angels are dissarmed with truth
and protected by gods youth
gods belt shakes loose
and loses it's harmful nose
the trophy of life shines red
for all those who are dead
physique stands still
whithout gods very will
course and shaken
my soul is taken
open and free
for you to see.
Author notes
i hav no idea what i was thinking when i wrote this lol.
A contest entry
- Show me your talent! by Beating.
1000 points, ended July 17, 2007, 34 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Sounds like he has no band, or if in fact he feels ousted, But there is a sign that he is alone. Very good feel to this.
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wow. that was a TOTAL differnet direction then i originally thought whne i saw hte title....
its good... just probably means more to u i can see >.<
anyway.... u should write "out of no where" more oftenly- i like it! -
i love this! it's great...i give you three applauses...darn it! i wish i could you more! lolz...
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I loved this a lot. It made so much sense, and it just had a certain thing to it. The title was aweosme and these lines were so great...
death and murder strike me cold
where life and sins are always sold
doves scream for their short lives
angels reach for their heavenly knives
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I really like this. It's very well written but you should start each word in a sentence with capital. And... shouldn't God be with capital too? I don't know.
btw - in the lines:
"doves scream for there short lives
angels reach for there heavenly knives"
it should be "their" and not "there". -
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i never capitolize anything in my poems, im not about to change that. ok and i changed the "their" thingy. well thx i guess.
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