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Bone- China

Bitter tea echoes
in a bone-china cup
as defrosting fingernails


tinkle the rim,

drip...

        drop...

drip. 

Crisp blue patterns
follow eyes; frosted

and sodden leaves hint
a bygone scent.

As the blunt contours
of pride and dignity

rest in
powder porcelain.

Author notes

I think this is about me...
I started writing this from someone elses perspective. I imagined a women much older than me. Cut off from the world, and wanting to get back. It was only when I read it once completed that I realised it was about me.
All suggestions are welcome.

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Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Florida Sunshine
    August 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    WOW Blow me away ~ its BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! The background just sets the mood perfectly... I loved this! This is a golden write... Nice job! I do love it!


  • SoftlyScreaming
    July 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well, do you know if its about you or not? i mean, really, how many poems do you write until you figure out what theyre about? a poet does not need to know what its about until after they've wrote it, and its your poem, so you decide... because frankly, i didnt really like it (please dont hate me, just my opinion) but its mainly now because you dont even know what its about.. im sorry to sound so rude and bitchy, im just saying.. but what do i know, im just a teenage girl whos an ammature at writing compared to you - ive seen your other works and you write pretty well.. okay im just going to shut up now


  • Jonathan ROBIN
    July 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Promise...sing








    Contours may blunt pride
    while dignity drowns in
    its contradictions.

    The fortune cookies
    hidden within the tea leaves
    hint at message s(c)ent

    Crisp blue eyes follow
    powder porcelain patterns
    solutions follow ...


    Enjoy !


    • silverscent gold member
      July 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      I didn't understand the purpose of your comment. Care to elaborate?


  • storiesuntold gold member
    July 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    To see oneself within the tea ;eaves and its a sight of goodness and pride one couldnt ask for more . Keep up the good writes


  • Serene Rose
    July 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This is very beautiful. You usse great wording, and imagery.Well done!

1 - 7 of 7