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Death

My eyes are open,
my lungs are full,
my blood is flowing,
but yet...I'm lifeless.
My soul has been damned.
I am forced to live.
Death is not an option.

Author notes


Written August 19th, 2003

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Schwarzes
    August 29, 2003
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    alive yet dead, great job of expressing that, ive thought about suicide alot, and always come to realize theres too much to live for, even as bad as things get.


  • deldev
    August 21, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Personally I'd keep this as it is.


  • Night Eye
    August 20, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    This is short but very good! however i have a few suggestions on how you can make it folw much better!

    suggestions

    where you say "but yet" take out the but

    and for the last two lines
    "im forced to live it out
    my death is not an option"
    or
    the other way around
    "my death is not an option
    im forced to life it out"

    -
    Johnathan

  • maihelena
    August 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I know how this feels. This is a great write. thanx for shareing.
    ash

  • ShadowedOne silver member
    August 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    holy crap..awesome..loved the words..so..meaningful. do keep it up :). Somedays it just feels death would be a good option but there is always something keeping us together, on the brink of sanity :). Very good.

  • bellaGirl
    August 19, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this poem ur a good writer

1 - 6 of 6