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Emotions

The pen shakes in my hand
I glance towards the silver beast
Coldness infecting me

I blink away emotionless tears
Drawing the blade up to my wrist
Letting the first wave of blood wash over me

Every line washes more of me away
Numbness grips me
Infatuated with sparks of pain

Questions rise in my mind
Overloaded till they burst
Overshadowing my dirty deed

Drops of blood run down my arm
Finally bringing me to life
Spider webs etched in my skin
Never to be undone

Author notes

Option 2, C

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Saree Wynter
    July 19, 2007

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    aGreat write although I dont like where it brings me I used to do this but I relised it was not worth it in the end. But the poem brings me back to a sad point in my life . Great write.


  • tawk gold member
    July 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Hood-Wink!

    What a sad write of cries for help. I could feel your pain. Excellent imagery and emotion!!

    You have just been Hood-Winked


  • Beating gold member
    July 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    "Spider webs etched in my skin
    Never to be undone"
    Oooh! I really like those lines. Their sad but true, and I always feel like that just after.


  • BeautifullyBroken88
    July 4, 2007

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    this is awesome!!! can defo relate to this! if this is the sorta poetry ur into, shud check out mine! some r pretty graphic, others more depressing
    good job!


  • PhoenixFaith
    July 2, 2007

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    This is depressing and sad. And honestly you do a wonderful job of conveying that emotion. Very well written. Great job keep it up.

    Never give up
    Kate


  • MagazinesFall
    July 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Although this is a very well written poem I feel that with the title being 'Emotions' there could be more emotion in it, if you can think of anything to improve it go ahead and try then tell me so I can read it again. Cuz I know you can do way better than this!

    • MagazinesFall
      July 2, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      BETER

      My favorite lines are
      "coldness infecting me"
      and
      "infatuated with sparks of pain"

      they have the most feeling, the most realness!
      good job and good luck!


  • choaticrose
    July 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the visualization in this work was detailed nicely. One of the things I personally would have improved on was the emotion... When I read it, it felt dull. Try to make this unique than those who have written similar poems. Good luck within the contest
    ~ChoaticRose

1 - 8 of 8