I watched them walk away.
Oblivious to the crystalline tears
Streaking my face.
Voice merely a ghost’s whisper.
When I needed them most
They were gone.
Completely out of reach
Forever lost to Time.
Author notes
Just some thoughts thrown together.
Slightly angsty, I'm very lonely just now.
Works better as a FanFic. Hahaha. ^_^
A contest entry
- treasure chest for quickie prewrites by DancingRed.
300 points, ended July 9, 2007, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I love crysalline tears.so descriptive.A short poem with a lot of meaning.Well done,
, Ros
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These are some gorgeous descriptions you've put together.
I'm not too sure about the full stops - perhaps commas would flow better..?
I think what I like best about this piece is the fact it seems to have a message for me. Whether or not you intended it personally for me, it speaks to me... and that's what makes a poem great.
Thanks for entering.
More hugs.
DancingRed.
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I think there were meant to be commas in there somewhere.
But I'm addicted to commas, I'm trying to break free of said addiction. 
It wasn't meant to be a message directed AT you, as I explained. TO you, yes, because you know what it feels like. But never at you, I can no longer be that cruel.
But I'm glad my poem reached you. 
Thanks for your lovely comment, DancingRed.
~ Shadow-Phoenix
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