Many times, I thought that life was pointless.
A day-to-day existence with no prize at the end.
And so with that in mind I feared people’s thoughts
I was scared away from my dreams and think,
‘Why bother?’
The few times that I would step up and try
The anxiety and anticipation made me run away.
I hid from what I could be,
in a world of fantasy.
I hide from everything I wanted,
pretended to be content.
My family never knew I lied to them,
never knew I wanted my own life.
I locked myself away from the temptation of being me.
In my fantasies I would emerge triumphant,
the hero of my thoughts
I’d tell the fictionally people
What I was to timid to tell real people in my life.
Those fantasies eventually helped me.
I fought free from the threats,
overcame my fears and set aside my hate.
People can say what they must.
They have a right to an opinion.
But with rights comes responsibilities,
That what people have always said.
That responsibility is to keep their thoughts
an opinion, not a suggestion, or dictation.
Just because they think it
Doesn’t mean I believe it.
So many times before
I may have thought that life wasn’t worth the effort.
But what I learnt when fighting free from fantasy
is that without effort
you cannot have the life you want.
Author notes
I think this needs a lot of work still but thought I would get people's opinions.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Lovely, AMAZING! Such a lot of expression given out in this poem. It is very good, some of it written in prose and some in poetry making it sound really good. i like how you structured it to
Well done!
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I LOVE THIS POEM!!! isnt this the truth!!! i honestly dont kno how many times i read this over but i kno it was more than 6 and every time i got more and more out of it!!! and the truth is, in my opinion that people do push there thoughts and opinions way to far sometimes. i liked how this poem was basically free verse but at sections of the poem you made it sound kinda like it was rhyming but it actually wasnt at all!!! nice effect!! i think in this poem you got your point accross, and you did it in a blunt but kind way!!! i love it!! keep up the good work!!
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I'm sorry I think this needs a lot of work too. I can tell it's a first draft beacuse it sounds a lot like a stream of thought rather than a poem.
It's an interesting thought though and with some editing it could work. I would suggest writing the lines slowly and making sure that every word is there for a reason.
All the best with it. Would love to see another draft -
YOU EXPRESSED YOUR SELF BEAUTIFULLY
EVERY POET MO MATTER HOW COMPLETE THEIR WORK IS ALWAYS FEELS IT COULD USE MORE TWEAKING AND ARE NEVER SATISFIED WITH HOW THEY SOUND TO THEM BUT THIS IS WELL WRITTEN AND EXPRESSED GOOD JOB
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