Speak easy child, there are people at the door.
Watch your words float in the cold air that is blue.
What you did, what you said, what you didn’t do.
Is all the cause, so bitter child, the cause of the war.
Mist floats around us and we sit still as ghosts.
Never did know what to think about your life.
Bet you thought I sliced you with my knife.
But we’re soldiers child, we never leave the post.
Hold tight child; grip your death gun near.
Have no fear sweet dear, God watches you.
Problem being is that He watches them too.
But like I said child, best not have no fear.
Love with courage and love with your heart.
Too many people love with brawn and brain.
So their love just washes down the drain.
But if you’ll love me, I’ll play my part.
A contest entry
- Terrorism by flyingphoenix.
750 points, ended July 17, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is very effective! The repetition of the word child makes it seem innocent, and there are some really interesting, original ideas in it. The rhyming pattern is interesting too, it works very well. I don't like the double negative at the end of the 3rd verse, line 12, but that's just me being picky. Great work!
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A nice poem, taken from a different persecptive.
The rhyming scheme is good, although at times it felt a little forced.
A good entry, thanks for entering!
Webber
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