The waltz of love;
Harmoniously consuming the stage,
Feeding off one another,
Relying on the other
to pick you up if you stumble,
To hold you on the ups
and gently embrace you on the downs.
The dance,
A swing in full motion.
Stomach flipping over and back,
Over your head
and behind the back,
Kicking around inside,
Feeling the rythym
amidst the distractions.
The ballet,
Ever graceful,
A peaceful elegance
brought about by a simple connection,
Two hearts;
Yours, and mine,
Left to dance for eternity to come.
Author notes
Love is as graceful and beautiful as any dance, and just like a dance, has the same rythym to it.
Thanks for the contrast in contests *smiles*
A contest entry
- This Isn't What You Think!!!! by Heavenly Angel.
475 points, ended July 3, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This is a beautiful, soft poem about love as a dance. I think its great, but I do think the capitalization detracts from it a bit. Good luck in the contest
-
This is a most beautiful write, my friend; soft, romantic, and elegant; thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of the contest!!!
-
Feeding off one another
(it's unclear who the "one another" are, even thought it's obvious, because you didn't mention any subjects)
Relying on the other
to pick you up if you stumble,
(is it just me, or are the subject pronouns inconsistent?)
(why do you capitalize after commas?)
Stomach flipping over and back,
Over your head
and behind the back,
(the repeat use of "back" detracts from the flow)
Kicking around inside,
Feeling the rythym
(typo)
~
That's all I caught~
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