Darkness can breathe through you,
Wrap itself around you like a shadow,
And loneliness can kill you,
Turning your heart into something shallow,
There are times when the world may seem to fall down,
But it’s only you that has fallen from grace,
The world sits in it’s place losing no frown,
For we individually make the world a happy face,
When you sat outside in the pouring rain,
Looking up and feeing the coolness hit your skin,
It was then momentarily you felt more alive,
For a moment you held the light within,
It’s hard to edge away from the darkness that follows,
To leave a life you’ve held true for so long,
But waiting for you far from those sleepy hollows,
Is the redemption you crave from this hidden song
P D Dawson 2007
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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very good. it's gothic yet romantic yet realistic very good indeed.
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Beautiful
This was absolutely amazing,the flow was perfect and the rhyming scheme well founded...you are the one with a way with words,and congrats on getting some pieces published that is my goal someday as well,and good luck with your novels as well the titles are intriguing...I loved these lines the best in this piece
"It was then momentarily you felt more alive,
For a moment you held the light within,"
and
"But waiting for you far from those sleepy hollows,
Is the redemption you crave from this hidden song"
Are you musical at all do you play any instruments?I think this piece would be a wonderful "hidden song" if you were to also put it to music,by itself it stands wonderfully and is very inspirational don't get me wrong ,it's just a suggestion,I am going to add you to my favorites if it is okay with you,I will have to read more of your amazing work
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nice and dark, love the use of words in this piece. Reminds me of heavy metal music.
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