erased
foot prints erased by ebbing tide
a path ahead with untouched crust
confusion lurks on either side
mistakes are made because of pride
a quest for love and abiding trust
foot prints erased by ebbing tide
failing at life when e’er I tried
wishing I hadn’t been unjust
confusion lurks on either side
pressing ahead, nowhere to hide
lost sight of you because of lust
foot prints erased by ebbing tide
forgiven; before my tears dried
Teaching me that I must adjust
Confusion lurks on either side
knowing now that God will provide
forgiving sins like windblown dust
foot prints erased by ebbing tide
confusion lurks on either side
Author notes
Villanelle:
A Villanelle is a nineteen-line poem consisting of a very specific rhyming scheme: aba aba aba aba aba abaa.
The first and the third lines in the first stanza are repeated in alternating order throughout the poem, and appear together in the last couplet (last two lines).
Form Resource: shadowpoetry.com
In a list
A contest entry
- Don't ask.... by Sonja.
1650 points, ended July 4, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This was a lovely villanelle. Perhaps I should have put a word cap per line but I am glad you gave me a chance to read this.
John -
Villanelle with strong rhyme and rhythmic flow.
I don't think this line is working that well for you, espescially where it is placed. I've only written a couple of Villanelles, but I know the importance of those two lines.
"confusion lurks on either side" Maybe "Temptation strays
with every stride.", and make it your first line, so you can end with the other, more apropo line. Just a thought.
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Ok thanks, i'll remove it. Sorry!
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Please don't remove your poem.
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wow, i'm really impressed with this. I loved the flow and the mysterious feel to it. This is really an amazing write! Bravo and best of luck in the contest!
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Thank you so much for your kind words and the bunnys.
Love,
Amera ♥
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Gorgeous!!
My Gosh!
After inhaling this verse,
I felt the emotions from this piece!!
Powerfully done
and Love that form~
You just pen with ease-
flows Beautifully!!
Love this!
Wooooooooo hooooooooo
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Beautiful. "forgiven; before my tears dried..." You are incredible. Very powerful. Stunning write here. Three bunnies.
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Packed with pondering from the soul, you scribe such lovely words. I connected to this piece, feeling buffeted by the confusion, and a sense of relief when forgiven "before tears even dried". Lovely, lovely.
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That is a very wonderful poem. It reminds me of the Footprints poem only your poem sings in a rich way. Very good
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Nice villanelle. It was always interesting to see and read this kind of poetry, like dragging puzzles over the table and always they perfect fits to the new place in the picture. Good chosen theme, it is somehow "hard" but it was your intent. A kind of fears, inner pleasure, and as you said - confusion lurks on either side. Yes, this is a fear of life and love. It was always hard to find the right path when foot prints are erased by ebbing tide. Thanks for sharing and for explanation what villanelle is, for all those who still do not know it. In my opinion Villanelle and Terza Rima (Sonnet form)are the hardest poetic form, of course, if one want to write them the right way. Nice background.
~Sonja~
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