They broke down the doors
seized his arms and legs
flung him through the window.
He flew
with the glass shards twirling in the brightness of dawn.
Did they not know this was the ground floor?
He rolled on the lawn
stood
and laughed at them
as he wiped off the dust and handprints.
He danced away
off to exchange the coins still in his pocket
for coffee and rolls
and waited for the library to open.
He reread "The Defenestration of Prague, 1848"
and giggled at the odd mistake;
the defenestration of Flitwick at 12 minutes to 7
from a ground floor window
..an act not predicted
which did not even
change the course of his own history
nor of his History Course.
A contest entry
- Give Me Your Best...Quickie :) by Heavenly Angel.
475 points, ended November 12, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Very unique and creative! I, too, would love to know the story behind this piece
Thank you for sharing and for being a part of the contest!
I wish you the best! -
this is great! i love the suprise twist after the harsh violence of the first stanza, the discovery that it's just the ground floor, the buoyancy and carefree joy that fills the rest of this piece. you've created a unique, vivid, intriguing character and the concrete description is awesome. i especially loved the 4th and 5th stanzas
the mixture of fresh young life, rolling in the grass and "dust and handprints," the rolls and jangling coins and libraries and history books is effective and really develops the character with just a few lines.
you're one of the few people who can get away with using the word "defenestration" and centering the poem and the wry humor around a historical reference. the last stanza, as others have noticed is pretty clever and a great way to sum this up. this is one of the most creative, original pieces i've ever read... i have no idea where the idea came from but you did a wonderful job with this!
"the glass shards twirling in the brightness of dawn."-introduces his determinedly positive outlookand aility to see beauty in what had to be a bit painful. it does somewhat weaken the impact of the suprise in the next line "Did they not know this was the ground floor?" i wonder if there is some way to avoid this... perhaps if the order of these stanzas were reversed, or perhaps there could be a more literal description of the shattered glass, then the suprise twist, and then the beautiful, romantic description of the glass shards scattered around him when he lands on the lawn?
anyways, this was a lot of fun to read and really well done! -
This is a good write and the imagery and the thought behind this isa great one. i really love this one of urs and i think these lines are great
He danced away
off to exchange the coins still in his pocket
for coffee and rolls
and waited for the library to open.
Awesome!! -
This one makes me smile, and wonder what could possibly be the story behind it, or if there even is one. I'm particularly found of the second, third, and fourth stanzas - the subject's nonchalance about the entire ordeal is oddly inspiring/uplifting. His giggle later on adds to that, since how many guys will admit to giggling? And now I've realized that I'm speaking as if he's a real person, and not the main character of a poem... that's a good thing, of course. :-) Oh, and the word play in the last stanza is pretty nifty, as well. Great piece, my friend - keep it up!
~Kelsey
-
-
Thankyou again.... I don't know where this came from...but twice as a child I went completely through a window while fooling about.....and unusually this poem shows the humour that my poems don't often contain
Thanks again for reading!!! It is always good....I have recently received a myriad of meaningless comments.
-
-
lol, this is really good, very interesting. Nice write
♥
whisper
-
Interesting write. Very profound imagery in this piece. Makes me think of how we all aren't able to predict our history, but even when tragedy strikes and we stay alive we can have some reason to rejoice. Anyway, good write.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
