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This One


This is the one who willfully or not
let enter in a gap between her loins
his squirming missiles from his gun that shot some million rounds
toward some vague target he could sense not see
as soon as he had reached his point of ecstasy

This one begged those fierce swimmers (one had a key)
toward what she knew was God’s intended destiny
a fertile Eden inside of her that would grow me
It was then I rose out of the pack
I swam beside and made the first attack

This one felt pierced a wall lost deep within
She felt the squirming violator enter in
Felt me plant my root and pitch my tent
Felt something microscopic move then split
Felt me increase and grow
and I in turn could feel her heart’s soft glow

This one took her cup of juice and poured me half
this one let her belly swell to make a room
that I could have my own to grow up in
until my arms and limbs and lungs could stand no more
and scratched and screamed and pushed to find that opening in her floor 

This one squeezed me down a tight canal
yet as I clawed and thrashed she pushed me on
Oblivious to grunts her sobs her hurt
I fought her force until I saw a light
the light when all I knew inside before was night

This one took me drenched with her insides
into her arms and laid me on her breast
looked at me then kissed my messy bloody head
so I would feel it first before all else
that I am loved

This one watched it all with her three eyes
(an inner eye resided in her heart
it saw always further then the other two
and added hope to faith in what I was to do)
as I trudged paths, sometimes guided - oft alone
like a tortoise from his nest long vanished...gone

This one saw what even I could not
and interceded only when her wisdom felt
my long term interest or my life at stake
upon the endless trails she watched me snake
through fires and storms wrought forth by choices I would make

This one’s heart still glowed as time drift by
glowed on my triumphs and with mercy on my falls
She shined on me in spite of my neglect of her
She heeded all my calls at every wreck
as I think back of her in retrospect

This one now is in my arms and breathing gasps
Her tiny hand is cold her wrinkled face is white
We saw to it her pain produced no cries
Her smile still shined within her eyes -
Yet what more can I do
for her but hold her in my arms until she dies
then search this pane of dark for lighter skies


Author notes


This poem is my tribute to my mother (and all women like her) who throughout their lives exhibited, in numerous and steadfast ways, their unconditional love for their sons - who in my mother's case numbered four - each who never had one doubt for one moment of her love, understanding, and sincerity - see: http://allpoetry.com/poem/2967124


***********************************************************************************************************

Contest Wise Old Sayings by Tqop In the end only kindness matters. - Jim Garnett

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 273     1 2 3  next >  (show all)

  • BrokenRage
    November 16
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    Edit | Reply
    You have an amazing talent, you have to keep this up, this made emotion pour through, i can feel the emotions and the ending made me want to cry. very good write, very good. thank you for your entry, i am looking forward to reading more of your poems.


  • LeilaJayne
    November 14
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    Edit | Reply
    This has won many many trophies... obviously something you are very very proud of. It's a beautiful tribute to your mother
    Thanks so much for entering and best of luck in the contest... x


  • bunnyslasher157
    November 10
    ?
    Edit | Reply

    Judge

    Good job on this hon. Good luck and keep writing!!


  • LunaBaby1414
    November 10
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    i love this, it's one of a kind. thanks for entering my contest
    lun


  • Melissa Burns
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    ......... wow....... and by wow I mean - holy cow how in the world does one get like 3 million trophies on one poem?????????? Although it is highly unfair I'm sure, I feel as though I can not award this poem again - not that it's not good enough mind you - but that it would be expected and lose some of it's shinny appeal lol anyways great work, and congrats on your wins

    *here I built you a new trophy case


  • Dryad Enya
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    I agree with Ms. Lostlullaby, the poem is wonderfuly constructed, an elegant and demending write made perposfully to contruibute and thank however, it does seem to lack something of which I can not place. I do not think itis sorrow missing, no there are hints of that. I think it is a slight lack of emotion. So caught up in the memoires and thanking we forget to put our true feelings into the work.

    Other than this minor thing the piece is wonderfuly constructed and the trophies reflect that too. Best of luck and keep writting
    Dryad Enya


  • LullabyOfADeadMan
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    This is an amazing write. No questions asked. I couldn't stop reading when I started. The only thing, it wasn't...sad enough for this contest? It was definately sad at the ending, I just think I was looking for more.
    It's a lovely contribute to mothers
    Thank you for the entry.

    Me,
    Tay Christine.


  • x0charlie-redhead0x
    October 16
    Edit | Reply
    very thoughtful. best of luck
    thanks for entering
    charlie


  • Tqop
    October 15

    Edit | Reply

    Wow!

    First, congrats on winning all the trophys. Ah, I'm stunned. I'm literally clapping. I think this was a nice poem to express mothers and how they love their children and things from their offsprings point of view. You really showed your talent in this one and your love for your mother.

    TQOP

    P.S. Thanks for sharing this beautiful poem.


  • Shadow Stalker
    September 19

    Edit | Reply

    Wow,

    That has to be one of the most touching poems I have ever read. You did an amazing job, I really enjoyed reading this. Thank you for sharing and good luck.

    *~*Night Mistress 1*~*


  • neenabean
    September 15
    Edit | Reply
    very touching and you have won many a contest with it, well done


  • WordsAndWits
    September 13
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful poem. Would make it to finalists, but I would rather let others have a chance. Thank you for entering and brilliant job!
    - Caroline


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    September 11

    Edit | Reply
    This is very beautifully written. I loved the way you went from your birth and the love your mom gave to you to your mom's death and the love you gave to her. I enjoyed the read!!! Thank you for entering my contest


  • lesbian-in-love
    September 6
    Edit | Reply
    Very good. This was interesting. Thanks for entering and good luck!

  • izzy1804
    September 1
    Edit | Reply
    A beautiful poem....Brilliant write. Good luck


  • Wyakin
    August 30
    Edit | Reply
    A lovely tribute to your mother. Wonderful write. Good luck!
    Wyakin


  • Pisces Pieces
    August 27

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is indeed exceptional. I love everything about it from the way it is written, to the emotions that are evident. A truly beautiful tribute to your mother, and so many others.

    ♥


  • Beautiful-N-Broken gold member
    August 26

    Edit | Reply
    This one saw what even I could not
    and interceded only when her wisdom felt
    my long term interest or my life at stake
    upon the endless trails she watched me snake
    through fires and storms wrought forth by choices I would make.

    Beautiful tribute to your mother. Loved it. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.


  • WordsAndWits
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    A very inspiring poem. It was truly heartfelt and I enjoyed reading it. Good job and good luck,
    - Caroline


  • McRae by nature
    August 18

    Edit | Reply
    Really sweet poem. It does not fit the theme of my contest however and therfore it will probably not win a prize, but I am glad I got to read this.


  • kylierenea
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is so sweet! It reminds me of that children's book "I'll love you forever". (here's a link to it, it's not too long: http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/loveforever.htm ) I really like this poem, great write Thanks for entering my contest.


  • XxNinjaNemoxX
    August 16

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.... such a beautiful tribute to the most important woman in a man's life.
    I'm stunned.
    Thanks for entering and best of luck to you
    xoxo.


  • Sonya-Erasmus silver member
    August 8
    Edit | Reply
    What a wonderful tribute.
    thanks for entering,
    good luck in my contest


  • Isolatedsouls17
    August 7
    Edit | Reply
    I love it...I can relate in away...great write

  • saz 09
    August 1

    Edit | Reply
    this poem was fantastic!! You are a brilliant writer i loved everything about it,the way you described conception was brilliant and what a great topic to talk about the miracle fo childbirth and children! Thanks for entering you are in my finalists list!! Good luck!!!


  • ILuvsMeKitties
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    that is a most beautiful poem.


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    July 27
    Edit | Reply
    Ok it took me a few minutes to scroll past all the contests this in and most of them have a trophy by it so there is no doubt that this is a good poem and I agree it is very good. But what regrets are there in it? Sounds more like a glowing tribute to a woman that bore 4 sons and raised each with the love and care a mother is suppose to have for their children ( I am a mother of 4) Thank you for entering. I wish you luck in oall other contests. But this doesn't fit this one. A

  • lost.and.alone
    July 27

    Edit | Reply
    Wow how many trophies ??

    Great write, Very touching, another poem which has made me cry!

    Well done, love it. Thank you for entering && Gook luck xx


  • Walking Oxymoron gold member
    July 26

    Edit | Reply
    673 views!!!!! Wow, people love you!!

    You are an incredible writer. Absolutely incredible.

    I loved how the poem went full circle, from our mum, to you, to a granddaughter...???

    Incredible


  • brokenheartedchild
    July 25

    Edit | Reply
    It's good you no it's good you've entered it in just about every contest possible and for that simple reason (and I no it probably isnt fair but hey it's my contest) im going to say no... but feel free to enter another if you wish.


  • cazzy71
    July 24
    Edit | Reply

    thank you

    tHANK YOU FOR TAKING AN INTEREST IN MY CONTEST.

  • beckstur
    July 24
    Edit | Reply
    Thats a really good poem! really enjoyed it


  • moaner
    July 23
    Edit | Reply
    wow, congrats on ur winnings! this is a lovely poem a a tribute, good luck in my contest x


  • Antebellum
    July 19
    Edit | Reply
    a wonderful tribute.
    thanks for entering,
    good luck


  • WuzGood
    July 16
    Edit | Reply
    Yes


  • Dixie Dawn gold member
    July 15
    Edit | Reply
    A truly beautiful tribute, I can only hope my sons will feel the same about me me. Thank You!

  • Antebellum
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    This is the one who willfully or not
    let enter in a gap between her loins
    his squirming missiles from his gun that shot some million rounds
    toward some vague target he could sense not see
    as soon as he had reached his point of ecstasy

    wow I really like this beginning.
    thank you so much for entering,
    good luck


  • moonlitanime
    July 14
    Edit | Reply
    an interesting poem I can see why you have won over so many hearts of the poets of all poetry and all of the contest. A mother is one of the most important people in the world and I can tell that you care about your mother so much.

    You deserve to win an other contest for this master piece.


  • DumbBaby
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    amazingly sad and pretty


  • forbidden-colour
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    All those trophies! Truely a beautiful write. I admire your connection with your mother, it is something I have never been able to achieve,
    Thank you for entering.


  • poetic-enigma21
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    wow, GREAT superb really felt it ... your emotions... what a better way to pay tribute to mom...really nice
    i loved your word choice.
    you really have magic in your words.
    thanks for sharing
    cheers

  • groovy afternoon
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    nicely written, well done.


  • Cyanide Dreams
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    Holy wow, this has been entered into alot of contests. I liked this. At first, it took me a while to figure out what you were talking about. Then as I got into it, it became clear. I liked the rhyme, although, some of it seemed slightly forced. Your imagery was great and I enjoyed the visions of love that I saw between you and your mother. This was a lovely dedication poem. Great job and good luck in the contest.

    josh


  • Heva Feva
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    "This one watched it all with her three eyes
    (an inner eye resided in her heart
    it saw always further then the other two
    and added hope to faith in what I was to do)
    as I trudged paths, sometimes guided - oft alone
    like a tortoise from his nest long vanished...gone"

    These are my favourite lines! Thanks for entering my contest and good luck.
    -heva ♫


  • doyouloveit
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    nice poem but wish it wasnt entered in so many other contests thanks though


  • Miss Macabre
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    A nice poem, but not dark at all. Sorry.


  • Mango Memories gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    aww...

    This is. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect.

    What more can i say?!

    I loved it, from head to toe of it.

    And yes, my oh my have you got talent!

    Well dont on a perfect write!


  • Lyrical Rain
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and this honestly brought tears to my eyes. This is something we all need to think about. honoring thy mother and thy father not when they die but before theyre dead. This poem really moved me and I loved it


  • English.Muffin silver member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    what a lovely poem, how you set out your poem was excellent and i dont mind reading a long poem if its good, and this one was, thank you for entering and well done


  • nobodys-girl
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    This was so beautiful in such a weird way... Thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Night Terrors
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    great tribute poem to your mom I think it is so very sweet and extremely touching thanks for entering I would give this a 5/1


  • LovelyLauren
    June 18

    Edit | Reply
    I really, really love this, but it doesn't fit my contest so I have to remove it. Perhaps I will create another contest that you could enter this one in.


    Lauren


  • ChunkyC
    June 14
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. This is a good poem. I don't think I've read anything quite like it. But I don't think it really captured much emotion. It wasn't raw, it wasn't STRONG. But the poem is very well written and it's flow is flawless. I also don't think I've ever seen a poem in so many contests either. Haha. Good job though.

    Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest :]


  • EmbraceTheJourney
    June 13
    Edit | Reply
    This is really wonderful


  • AngelsKissesJenna
    June 12
    Edit | Reply
    Great write.
    I liked this.
    Thanks for entering
    good luck and
    you are my Graddad,


  • PhoenixFaith
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    Very wonderful tribute to your mother. Very nicely done. Good word choices.

    Best of luck and thanks for entering
    Kate


  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    This one begged those fierce swimmers (one had a key) -- I absolutely adore that line!! A phenomenal write, my friend.
    Thankyou so much for entering this piece in my contest, and I wish you the best of luck!

    ♥ Maria ♥


  • Jade Rain
    June 11

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    Amazing!! You truely captured the process of being loved from the very beginning- bravo! I very much enjoyed reading this, is captured my attention from the very beginning!

    However, I have bad news.. In my requirements I asked that no one submit an entry that had already placed (and yours certainly has!) But props to you, I don't want to take away from that fact. I hope you understand and if you have any questions please ask.

    Thank you for sharing!!

  • jadeangyal
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    You have showed the passage of time through your mother's life. And although I knew the last verse was coming, it still made me cry. What a beautiful poem and a lovely tribute to your mother.


  • FlipperSwitch
    June 8
    Edit | Reply
    I like that this was of creative subject and that it was incredibly sweet, but I did get bored. Thanks for entering.

  • all faded blue
    June 8
    Edit | Reply

    Have been finding some of your writing on here. It is moving and tender and very well done. Glad to have found it.

  • nobodys-girl
    June 7
    Edit | Reply
    this is just amazing! i loved to read it so very much. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck.


  • MelissahhMidnite
    June 6
    Edit | Reply
    wow this was amazing!
    thanks for entering


  • MysteriousWhisper
    June 6

    Edit | Reply
    this is very beautiful. as i read it i got more of an impact of how great your mother was. your words are very well written. great job and good luck in the contest!


  • Shade Aurelia
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is symbolic of the growth of the baby in the womb through the birthing process, right? It is great to read something like this. Not many think of it.
    Thanks for entering it in my contest and good luck

  • XxLoverOfDarknessxX
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    wow....idk what to say. this was amazing! i loved it! keep up the good work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • stop a bullet
    June 2

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.. im really not sure what to say other than that. an amazing and beautiful poem. Thank you so much for entering.


  • borrowing.moonlight gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    wow... thats all i have to say. thank you for entering my contest and following he rules. keep writing


  • jacbgd2 gold member
    May 30

    Edit | Reply
    I really did like this write.   The words were so intense and thought I could actually visualize the sequences of events. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  • DramaQueen469 gold member
    May 29
    Edit | Reply

    Peer Pressure :)

    Wow, this is a phenomenal write; I loved it!
    Thankyou for sharing, and I wish you luck in the contest

    Maria

  • Unholy Sinner
    May 27
    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely wonderful!


  • GothicFyre
    May 22
    Edit | Reply
    Wow, a really great tribute to your Mum and so many trophies! Good luck!


  • Mariana gold member
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful dedication to your Mother. Well done

    Mariana  


  • Minstrel-Morose
    May 20
    Edit | Reply
    Awwww this is sweet!!!! Thanks for following instructions B.T.W.

  • closetpoet99
    May 20

    Edit | Reply
    this is so touching and heart felt. a praise worthy tribute to mothers everywhere it illustrates exactly the love i have for my mom but i could never put into words this is fansastic


  • trekkergirl
    May 19

    Edit | Reply
    An excellent write. I especially liked the AN and how you made it a tribute to your mother. And also, congrats on all the trophies that you have won with this one. It is well deserved. Thanks for entering this into my contest and thanks for sharing this with us.


  • BreakingTheSurface
    May 15
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.


  • Ti Amo Te Quiero
    May 13
    Edit | Reply
    Bravo! Nothing much i can say ehh? Thanks for entering my contest and good luck !


  • ScarletLetter
    May 11

    Edit | Reply

    as tears flood this face of shame,

    there's nothing more horrid than that of a child's moarn...

    God, i am so sorry.. and you must hear this so often I'll assume.

    I sit here and give praise to your courage to come forward and write such an emotional piece.

    you deserve every last "trophy" that has been listed on this page and many more.
    Thank you for your entry,
    and keep on sharing - so many crave another's story when they can't cope with their own..


  • hyper thing
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    THIS IS REALLY REALLY GOOD


  • XXStOlEn-HaLoXx
    May 9
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful yet sad. So much emotion and sadness came out in this write. Very good job


  • spiritraven
    May 5
    Edit | Reply

    Very Good

    I really enjoyed this. Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck


  • JessicaMarieLewis
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    It is amazing. I loved reading it and it is obviously loved by everyone else..... good job.


  • Rebekah-Ann silver member
    May 5
    Edit | Reply
    Amaizing how famous this poem is! Lovely and ejoyable! Thank you for entering.


  • The Hardest Goodbye
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    this poem sure has been in a lot of contests & I see why, it was a stunning piece of work, good luck in my contest too


  • etoile
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    this is quite the great poem, but in the contest we asked for freeverse and prose only, since this contains rhyme I'm going to have to DQ this.
    sorry.


  • Hannah Sophia
    May 2

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has a truly deep and personal premise. This kind of love does not seem to be too prevalent in our society, and you were truly blessed to have a mother that showered you with unconditional love. I love the way you began the poem with your conception, with her giving you life, and how you ended it when her impending death. It truly causes the reader to think. I really love the beginning two stanzas in particular.

    The rhyme felt a bit stressed at times, but overall it flowed well. The last two lines in the fourth stanza felt especially awkward rhyming wise. I think this is a truly beautiful poem, and I can see by all your trophies that others will agree!

  • Night Terrors
    April 19
    Edit | Reply
    so good I really loved this poem I was confused at first but not to long this was awesome. I thought it was so great


    The Positives:
    Wonderful emotion and some great lines I thought this was very cleverly written.


    The Negatives:

    Nothing that I see great job



    My Favorite Part:


    This one watched it all with her three eyes
    (an inner eye resided in her heart
    it saw always further then the other two
    and added hope to faith in what I was to do)
    as I trudged paths, sometimes guided - oft alone
    like a tortoise from his nest long vanished...gone

    That part was amazing

    Overall:

    I give this an 7/10 you did great. I hope to see you in my future contests thanks so much for entering.

    ~*~Apathetic Poison~*~


  • Desdmona
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    Dang, this is very good. Honestly, though, I didn't understand it until I read the author's note. But maybe that's just me. Your diction is great and the lines flow beautifully, however I was looking for a poem about you and not your mom, but I want to give you props because this is very good. Good job and good luck! ~Des


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, Wow!
    This was great!
    I actually got cold chills after i read it..
    what a great dedication to your mother ..At first i thought this was going to be a "smut" poem but as i read on i came to realize it was more to it than that ..Heartfelt and i could tell you put alot of effort into this one. good luck and thanks for entering


  • Ami
    April 15
    Edit | Reply

    this was great.. it was in my last contest

    Great Write and
    Thank You for entering my contest
    Good Luck
    -♥Amanda♥


  • AshesFromFire
    April 15
    Edit | Reply
    Good luck in my contest!
    You have some amazing emotions here!


  • stepbystep
    April 14
    Edit | Reply
    amazing amazing work here. (:

    best of luck in the contest!


  • SpeakLove93
    April 13

    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful Words!

    This is quite an amazing piece! As we can all tell from your numerous rewards. Your words are brilliant. Such a lovely topic to chose as well. None of us would be here if it wasn't for our mothers. Nice job and thank you for entering!


  • HereComesTheSun
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    quite a trophy case. so i dont need you tell you how brilliant that was :]

    thanks for entering


  • spideracer gold member
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! what a poem, and about your mother, and everybodies mom. So many trophys, so many comments, I just had to click and check this one out, and I'm glad I did. Such imagery, such depth you've gone into, very powerful. Take care and good luck in this contest, though don't think you need much luck with this poem.


  • Ami
    April 12
    Edit | Reply

    That was a Great Tribute to you're mom

    Great Write and
    Thank you for entering
    Good Luck


    -♥Amanda♥


  • historygeek6190
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    great write


  • Denerica
    April 9

    Edit | Reply
    You are right I would completely injoy this, what a tribute, a truth of being created in your mother's womb, how she saw you grow, and now still eyes gleaming as she takes in her last moments with you, very heartfelt. Thanks for sharing. Blessings.

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