Echos of silent lights swirling,
dancing, surrounding this sky
so calm
So many stars lucky enough to
be witness to this invitation
only metamorphosis
Silently whispering it's colours
of alabaster and tourmaline,
intertwined as if bonded
in marriage
Reflections of aquamarine and
turquoise bouncing off a lake
below, bearing a face so ice
crystal blue it appears as
though it is pure sheets of glass
not a single ripple in sight...
Slowly descending from the
heavens bumping ever so gently
into each other as though playing
a game of tag
Their patterns uniquely individual
yet surprisingly familiar forms
made even more delightful by
their sounds of silence
Time to fade into the night
this celestial burst returning
to where it was birthed...
Dimming like tail-lights in
the fog as the sun eases up
over the horizon
For it is now her turn to dance
in the sky...
Author notes
prompt # 2
picture inspired for contest/ the northern lights
username/workinghrlyldy
A contest entry
- Anything as long as it is good by Swan song.
750 points, ended July 14, 2007, 48 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Picture Prompt by azure85.
600 points, ended July 12, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come On In - Nothing to be Ashamed Of by Rock-Junkie.
400 points, ended December 11, 2007, 16 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Paint Me A Poem! by Erin200.
313 points, ended December 1, 2007, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Synethesia- Blending Of The Senses by Mercury Rising.
600 points, ended December 16, 2007, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 13 options. Something for Everyone!!! by iamthebeatles.
1200 points, ended November 9, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is a wonderful tribute to the night time sky. It was soft and supple and really begs to be read and re-read. You have created real beautiful images that combine to make a brilliant masterpiece. Well done. Lovely work. Good luck with this.
Peace
Cassie -
This was a pretty good write...The imagery was vivid and is was a really soft read..You did a good job! keep it up..
Angel
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this is pretty alright. there is a lot of description which is nice, but it seems like a lot of concepts that a lot of people have already used. you bring up the concept of a lake, water, ice, things like that... all pretty conventional and only to bring home a conventional idea: the peacefulness of silence. cool, but not exactly what i was looking for. i do thank you very much for following the rules and for taking the time to enter my contest. (:
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Love the ending - simply stunning. A beautiful piece and the picture couldn't be anything compared to this. It's simply enthralling.
Thanks for entering.
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splendid!
Nature's grand specticle of the aurora borealis is in no way deminished by this wonderful poem.
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Enchanting
This is captivating. The solemnity of the scene is shown so well here. The piece looks like it has a lot of hard work put into it. One note: the correct spelling is 'turquoise'.
Thanks for sharing, it's a brilliant entry!
please don't rate this comment or reply to it until after judging.
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Hmm,
I think you took the title of the contest too much in this poem, I was looking for emotions really, but I liked the poem, it was really descriptive, thanks for entering, and good luck!
All the best,
*Stephi*
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A really delicate and exquisite poetic painting that was a pure pleasure to read. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.
David
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Beautimous! Splendiferous!
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a really great write!!
the words that you've written painted a scenery so pleasent and magnificant.
I enjoyed it a lot!!!
great write and good luck in my contest
*HxRxG* -
wow!...some great imagery here with a soothing feel capturing the sounds of silence...I especially dig the 5th stanza...a great piece
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Such Vision
A prefect picture of nature at it's best. Oh the painter that I always wanted to be. Nicely penned
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This is very beautiful, so many images and emotions within your poem.
Their patterns uniquely individual
yet surprisingly familiar forms
made even more delightful by
their sounds of silence
I like the many levels within each line, thank you for a lovely poem. -
I like the explainations of beauty and silence.
Good luck, Buddy
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This is a very nice write i like it very much and will be back to read this again thank you for the beauty
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Dear workinghrlyldy,
Even before I finished reading I semsed that this beautiful piece was written off a picture. Your use of colours is simply so delicate and speaking - quite my type of read. The word use is again very sophisticated, you use some intense imagery, which I liked a lot.
When I read your author notes I reallzed that you were describing Aurora Borealis - the Nothern Lights, something that is so beautiful that I wouldn't even attempt at writiing about. You did a very nice job. I have a few remarks however. I'm sorry if I say something wrong. Well, yos see once I submitted one of my poems into a professional contest and received one of the best critiques ever. The critic advised me to take care of the great abundance of unnecessary adjectives I used in my poem - as the poet's job is to make the reader feel the colour, not see it. I quite agree with this idea - of course I don't bear in mind to press it on you in any way. I just want to say that one ought to think twice before using an adjective in a poem and try to be more subtle when using similes. In my humble opinion that's what distiguishes descriptive prose and poetry.
Agaio I apologize if any of my words were offensive.
Thanks for sharing your work,
Regards,
Jan
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this is such a very intriguing poem...full of mysteries...though I wonder if it fits appropriately in my contest...
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