I like listening to rain on a night, softly splattering on my window
Bright sun rising on a cold day, giving the illusion of warmth but not delivering
Sunbathing almost positive no-one can see (but slightly excited that they might)
Sleeping in just my knickers, enjoying the sensation of cotton on skin
Having my window open on a night but closed during the day
How scary I look 7am but the face will slide into place for 9am
Nails at the length I can scratch but not do damage
Electrical equipment that illuminates my room
Smelling the outdoors on someone
Falling asleep and unintentionally dreaming of the things I fantasise about
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Hi from the opposite side of the world
Ive read a few of your poems and Im going to read many more. Some of them didn't quite work for me 100% but I enjoyed the complexity of what your were aiming to achieve. To be honest Im a little envious of your skills. Normally Id comment on a poem or peice of writing. Hopefully I'll be able to learn some of your imagery skills and also the themes you sometimes hint at but are just under the surface.
And as for this poem....I Like
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"Smelling the outdoors on someone" What a beautifully imaginative line...I know what that smells like...like making love down by the river bank with the prettiest girl in your class...except shes dating the football star and you've never been so into boys. This reminds me of my home in a way. I am from a small town in North Carolina, being gay meant being faced with bigotry of the upper handed kind. You learned to fight real quick. Maybe I am straying, but I really like your work. Its like you are longing for a feeling...maybe not even a feeling meant just for you, but something tangible enough that it can inspire you, make you feel not so very alone. Something borrowed is better than nothing...Maybe I read too deep into you, I have a habit of doing that, but I'm just drawing on what I feel from your piece. Anyways...I'll cut this short for now. Incredible poem.
Blessed Be,
Shae Lynn -
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You're not straying or reading too much into things, I haven't written in a long time. I was trying to piece things together that could help me to write again, to help me express things I remember feeling in a time before my life was eclipsed by exams and relationship problems and general crap. You seem a very insightful person, once I recover from an exhausting day I'll have a look at your work
Thanks for commenting xx
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i love the very last line. i do enjoy the whole piece though. i love awakening from those dreams. i wake up with a huge smile on my face.
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thanks
for commenting i've been away a looong time, tis nice that you're still willing to look at my work! xx
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