her breasts—
built
of severed self esteem,
licked away,
with tongues marinated
in middle school saliva.
structuring Them;
two remembered souls;
rotting in forced un-virginity
Hell.
(they suggested (forced)
lovely little Porn Star babies
with name plate room)
moulding Them;
“populous” chisels—
most famous of all,
‘cause of “oversized” heads.
----was no space to breath.
drying Them;
atmospheric Gods;
masters of sexuality,
yearning
some sham of intercourse;
emotionally’s jaded.
she came back
with her new “friends”
girls (enviously) despised her;
(but they even wanted a poke)
while the guys loved the babes
more than her.
because these twins
are false advertisements::
& her pretty face is a
trustworthy product.
Author notes
I'm sure you all know what this is about.
"False Advertisements"
Name: Forever Ryan
A contest entry
- Da Crib: Challenge One by Tangled Angle.
400 points, ended June 29, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Shoot.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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this is just awesome Ryan
Great job - congrats on the bronze !!!! you have skills !!!! Betsy
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Thanks Betsy!! I havent read your poem for the contest yet, can't wait
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Very Nice
roflmao this is hell lot hilarious and very well penned too. I once dated a girl who just got implants cuz of low self esteem and well she got trid of me cuz she thought I only wanted her cuz of her body but boy was she ever wrong when I got her best friend to go out with me and she elarned a lesson and well it hurt her alot cuz well she dedserved it and she got all thr wrong attention and last I heard she was impregnanted 3 times and was all alone stupid B***H serve dher right. any ways great poem here bro and really well penned. congrats on Bronze
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lmao
Now thats an entertaining story to read 
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..boob jobs. Some really excellent word play, and metaphors. Very unique, and creative, love that about this one!
My only personal critique would be the punctuation, ..I wonder if different spacing would be more effective, or just taking it out..like I said that's just me. When I do punctuate I tend to overdo it, or misuse it. lol.
I like the paranthesis in this though..interesting;
" (they suggested (forced)
lovely little Porn Star babies"
poetic license! love it.
All in all an excellent poem..congratulations, deserving and more.
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Punctuation is my enemy. I've attempted so many poems without it, but it never seems to read the way I want it to. Some day ...in the distant future... I'll get it.
Lol thank-you and I'm glad you enjoyed
What would we do without poetic license
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I think I do know what this is about, and it is quite different from your regular... and if I am thinking what this is really about- this was quite brave of you to actually write about this! You got the message across pretty good.
Excellent job.
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Well I think what your thinking is thinking correctly
If anyone complains, its just my personal opinion
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Fantastic
I can tell you spent a lot of time thinking this one through. Great job. So poetic. Good luck in the challenge.
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Thanks The ideas actually came to me pretty quickly in this one, it was the getting it down that took a while
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Nice mustache!
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lmao
it looks like war paint now
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