Beautiful
Is what you are
Criticsim
Is what you speak
So many things to describe you
But I can't not bear to tell
If I do
People will be sneaks and dwell
To hear the many things about you
For you are the biggest piece of my heart
And it is a burden I shall treasure for as long as my heart jumps
And my eyes stay open
Gazing upon your beauty.
A contest entry
- Shorter The Better! by My Darkness.
400 points, ended July 4, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
the period at the end seems pointless to me, you did not use punctuation at all in this write, which makes it hard to read, also making it hard where to start and stop.. perhaps if you added punctuation this piece would be so much more... thanks for entering and good luck
-
a spelling error in line "6"
BUT
you pulled this off wonderfully!
keeping your love so close that no one else could ever have a glimpse,
it is what us selfish/hopeless-romantics are known for.
our admiration for the one that loves us back.
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