That reflection staring back at me
is beginning to fade.
I can I feel myself slipping away.
I don't feel like I even have insides anymore;
It's all just a big blob of nothingness,
a giant black hole sucking everything into oblivion.
The only time I feel normal
is when it's so dark out
you cant see your hand in front of your face.
When it's that dark, I feel numb.
Like I could do anything
and not feel a thing
because all i am is a black cloud
of failure and regret...
Why?
Why can't I make you proud?
Why can't I do anything without screwing it up?
Why does it hurt to breathe?
Why is it the only time i feel sane
is when I'm slicing my skin open
and watching that crimson liquid running down?
This summer was supposed to fix things.
Make me feel better
like it did last time.
But instead my past has ruined me.
Now I can't live.
I'm trapped inside.
I want to be a kid again.
I miss the innocence of not knowing
whats going on around me.
I miss being happy.
I miss my friends.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
I'm sick of pretendig everything is ok.
I'm tired of putting on plastic smiles
for people because they
dont want me to ruin
their day with a bad mood.
Well i guess that problem is fixed.
I wont see anybody until school starts.
In fact, I wont see some ever again.
My hope is gone.
Shattered into a million pieces.
I'm dying inside and
there's nothing I can do
but play by the rules.
It's a long way to happy
but you learn to be lonely...
Author notes
Just thinking in my room at 3 in the morning not being able to sleep...
"crank dat sailor moon"
A contest entry
- Anything by My Darkness.
450 points, ended July 8, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Show your worth by Whispered Secrets.
400 points, ended November 20, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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"I'm sick of pretendig everything is ok.
I'm tired of putting on plastic smiles
for people because they
dont want me to ruin
their day with a bad mood."
nice...u dont have to smile because ppl want u to you have to smile because u want to because you are here and that you've concured ur fears and pain...
its is hard to move on and leave those feelings behind but know dat u r not alone... u r a very good poet keep writtin and i hope that everything is ok now
[i saw you smile on ur own will in class ♥] =D
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
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mmm.
I liked this poem.
In my opinion, the summer can be just as cold as winter. Depends on how you think of everything. Everyone can be happy with a frown on their faces and everyone can be sad with a smile on their faces. Humans have the ability to lie and that's what we do without even realizing it.
I want to be a kid again.
I miss the innocence of not knowing
whats going on around me.
I miss being happy.
I miss my friends.
Do you believe in reincarnation?
I liked that part of the poem the most. They say innocence is bliss. When you were younger it took only a drawing to make you happy, but now it'll take much more. Maybe because of realization? Reincarnation...Change. A revival maybe?
Good write. I enjoyed it. And thank you also for following the rules as written.
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I love this poem...even if it's about bad things. =/ i know it's hard to move on and all, but you just have to keep pushing on..you know, look towards the future type thing? and no, i'm not trying to act like i know everything, cuz trust me i don't...
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I'm sorry that you feel this way.
But you are the only one who chooses your future, and your hapiness.
You make life what you want it.
So be creative.
We shall talk if you'd like.
=).
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there are so many things in this life we wish we could change, or go back, but you have to keep moving on.. keep your head up, and keep writing... good luck and thanks for entering!
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great write. I hope everything is ok. If you ever need to talk just leave me a message on here or myspace. I am not home for the next month but I will still be checking my messages at least once a day if not more. It depends on how much time I have daily. Well hope your feeling better.
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awwww.
this poem is so sad. I'm sorry that you feel this way. I'm sure a lot of us feel that way some time or another but we just have to try and look on the bright side, if there is one. 
anyways
awesome write
xox
kandy
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