sometimes, when the clouds roar their
displeasure at us, we hide in each other’s
arms to duck from Nazi search lights
splitting the air in searches far more
efficient than those conducted by
Hitler’s distant, homicidal admirers
some time later, though the wars
with Mars and a few human unfortunates
have passed, we find ourselves deep
in each other’s eyes, combing for
something we can call home and
still coming up empty as the hollow
ticks sounding from the wall clock
mocking our guarded blues
Author notes
Won gold in this contest: http://allpoetry.com/contest/2356282
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Comments
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we hide in each other’s
arms to duck from Nazi search lights
and right decision great stuff loved the line above ^
it put a scean in my head, good job
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"combing for something we can call home" is the most powerful line in this poem for me - as it is that difficult at times for many to feel as though they belong (not that one should have to belong). Anyway - so many vivid images, but that line stuck most in the midst of an unusual theme with references to war / hitler. How hard it is to find ourselves at ease sometimes -- those two concepts stressed that even more surrounding this write.
nicely done indeed.
Kim
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Ah! Blues turned Gold!
I loved this poem. I loved the hollow assonance with sounding and mocking ... sheer brilliance. And I simply loved the passion of silence and eyes and the searching, searching still, deeper, deeper the spotlight of the soul, deeper even than eyes ...
Shivers.
Myra
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Beautiful.
I'm going to put you under my favorites, so I can read some more. -
Those first two lines are probably two of the best I've read in a week. Seriously now. You have to promise not to enter any contests I'm in with poems like this or I might start feeling sorry for myself. lol.
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I just realized your contest rules said not to use "a couple hours" in the poem. So I had to go and edit it. You suck.
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Pfft, I think I'm going through one of those phases where I write well. Maybe it's 'cause I've been feeling pretty up this week, or maybe I'm feeling up 'cause I can feel my muse again. Or maybe I'm just full of it.
Anyway, I'll probably enter a phase where I suck again, so donchu worry none.
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