Now I lay me down to sleep,
and in my imaginative world,
I take a leap,
through the skies,
on mountains of air,
being upheld by your tender stare.
Daddy I miss you,
you are all the world to me,
in my dreams I can see you,
and be free!
In my dreams, we take a walk,
hand in hand as we laugh and talk,
through beautiful sunsets,
and the mountain breeze,
Daddy I miss you,
you mean the world to me.
Eternity's door
is our special place
where space and time
completely erase.
I'm glad I can see you in my dreams,
Daddy, I miss you.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Aww This is beautiful Love that prayer the original form. You turned it into something better
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Hi. I am glad you picked up on my intentional allusion. You should read all about allusion in poetry- it can really make your poetry powerful! Duana
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Your images are very heart wrenching and interesting and beautiful all at once. Also, tragic. I think this poem has great rhyme and flow. Once again you have so much emotion compacted into this. The only thing I want to suggest is maybe keeping your rhymes on the last stanza section there, it sort of threw me off a little and disrupted the flow. But thats just a personal thought and way I read it. Nice work... keep it up! Thank-you for a beautiful read.
Ryan
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Such a powerful interpretation of this image! So beautifully written and expressed...thanks for entering my contest...good luck! Smiles, Terry
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Wow I love the way that you used the picture! Such emotion and love for her Daddy. Good luck in the contest
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