A sullen pale moon painted in the night sky
Looks sadly down upon the tainted earth
Who groans like a woman about to give birth.
The stars so far away; so very high,
Glare down from their nuclear thrones
At this poisoned world as it moans.
The flaming sun shivers as it draws nigh
To this desecrated globe to shed its light
On the people who in war continue to fight.
A contest entry
- Our world. by volcaniclastic.
600 points, ended January 10, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ALMOST ANYTHING GOES by VerminVomit.
303 points, ended May 5, 2008, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Sometimes it hurts so much to actually write what we feel inside, we end up stopping, or shortening the words. Just to get it out of our heads! I believe this is one of those writes that I have just read. It's still very powerful in verse, but you had so much more to say...!!!
Maybe another time?
All the best,
~T.S~
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Great message in this. Very well written, thank you for entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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i like it
i really like it... i like the 7th line the most... its a good length...easy to read...yeah... -
Loved this! The rhyme scheme is amazing and the content is quite brilliant.
I am always fascinated when a poet can manage both writing within a strict rhyme scheme and achieving a profound image or message at the same time (which your poem does extremely well).
Also, I like how you portray our world. How true!!!!
Thank you for this wonderful poem!
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Thanks for the comment again! I will do my best to read and comment on yours not because I feel obligated but because I feel honoured! Thanks I really like this poem I wrote I think it is one of my best ones.
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this is awesome. thanks for the entry!
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This touched my heart. Good luck at the contest
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tough imagery here well done Kx
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Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful - I feel you've captured my prompt quite well.
Good luck in my contest!
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Truly a wonderful write! I liked how you described that beneath the still moon, a war still continues here on earth, kind of like a neverending battle. Thank you for entering and good luck in my contest
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Thank you very much, I wish you the best in judging your contest and I know how hard it can be, I hope you have fun.
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