Shine, lake of fire
Lines, take me higher
Playing charades
Such a shallow existence
Please help me get back home
Help
This habit
I wont have it
I'd do anything for it
Even deceiving my own blood
Living
Beyond my means
My demons are coming to drown me
Strife
Dishonor
An unfruitful use of my knowledge
No
I won't go
You cant make me
You don't know
Just bring me back
To my
Home
Author notes
love happens once in a lifetime. the difference lies in how many times you're willing to live in the time that you're alive. but in all seriousness this poem is about the struggle that i had with cocaine. and getting over the addiction.
A contest entry
- Inspire me by Moon Raven.
450 points, ended June 30, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - oogaboogashoogalooga...this is serious by Starlette.
525 points, ended December 7, 2007, 150 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
comments from the peanut gallery
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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What a struggle, too! Cocaine is vicious, unwilling to let go of its grip on you.
I love the imagery here. This poem was much more abstract and metaphorical than many of your writes. I think perhaps because it's an issue that was difficult for you to deal with at the time you wrote it. You didn't stare it right in the eye like many other things you write about it. I find that I do that with things I'm uncomfortable with - I work a little harder to shroud them in metaphors, make them abstract, so it's not as ugly when I look at it. Does that make sense?
"Lake of fire" automatically makes me think of the cover of "Lake of Fire" by Nirvana (originally by the Meat Puppets). That seriously fits this poem and really helps it make a point actually.
I really love the format of it, the way the lines kind of sway back and forth - like they're teetering on a very fine line between sanity and madness, right and wrong, sobriety and giving in to your addiction. It really complements the subject quite well and makes it that much more powerful.
Thanks for sharing this awesome write!
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that is an addiction that is quite hard to kick.
but this is a really great write!
the emotion is there, the intense struggle is there.
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haha i want to go home too. I hated when I moved, i feel like a piece from another puzzle and i dont fit here..
Rose. -
Hey there, firstly allow me to apologise for the late judgement of this contest, Interesting approach in both style and structure. The lack of punctuation is something that always gets to me in a piece unless it actually brings something out in the piece. I can't at present decide whether it actually did do anything for this or not, but all the same it was a well written piece and a good read too. Thanks for the entry, i wish you the best of luck in the contest.
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Amazing
youa re indeed quite a poet.
Well done. many appluases to you friend
Tory
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I still love this poem. It truly is amazing. Great job with this.
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You have inspired me.
I can sence the desperation on an addict who is struggling to over come the deathly addiction. I know what that's like from the outside because my ex, who was my boyfriend at the time, was struggling with crystal meth. This poem struck me rather hard. The way you wrote this is very well done. Great job with the flow and protraying the struggle in the way that you have. The imagery is very well done.
I would normally point out what my favorite lines are... but I quite honestly can't. The whole poem is great. Thank you for sharing this with me.
Thank you for entering, and good luck. -
The poets presentation via the black and white is effective,as is the disjointed presentation of lines,visually indicative of the mind rambling incoherently and confused.The rhyme was not forced and though not used throughout it worked,to have made this lyrical when it's so deep would have detracted from the impact.The poem has an intensity which portrays the internal battle with inner demons.Good luck in the contest and with your creativity.
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