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[ She loved her children ]

She loved her children
She hated to go
But the pain in her heart
Just wouldn't let go
Watching over her
Staring down
The nightmares surrounded her
Bearing her down
There was no escape
It was sucking her will
The pain inside
Continued to drill
Hollowing her out
It continued to grow
Til the light went out
And her will to live slowed
So she laid herself out
To let herself bleed
Picture perfect
As she let herself leave

A contest entry

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Comments


  • arnica karuna
    July 5, 2007

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    Hey! that's an amazing write.. I bet there were very few readers who didn't have tears in their eyes when they reached the last word. A beautiful write, showing so vividly, a dying mother's agony at leaving her darling children at the mercy of this cruel world.
    The intensity of the poem is not only on the higher side, but is also very uniform, and this is one of the few poems I have seen that has the above mentioned quality.
    Very real images and tears.... the pain almost tags along even after one finishes reading your work. Well DOne!

    My favorite part:
    "The nightmares surrounded her
    Bearing her down
    There was no escape
    It was sucking her will
    The pain inside
    Continued to drill
    Hollowing her out
    It continued to grow
    Til the light went out
    And her will to live slowed"

    Please correct the typos here and there.

    Thanks for entering the Raven Qualifier and Good Luck!