Still

So random and spontaneous, yet so filled with compassion,
How we talked those few years ago.
They were the night we both fought an onslaught of depression,.
They were so loving, rotten yet so new,
I remember falling in love with you.

But I digress.

Now we talk so carefully, like we calculate each spoken word,
We used to be so free, so full of life and of ourselves.
We can never return to that state, and although it seems absurd,
I wish we could be like that again.
I am now yearning for you.

We fell in and out of love, yet our connection always endured,
Until now it seemed like we would be the best.
But why are you so distant lately, you are slipping, I have concurred.
I wish I could do better.

I love her still.

Is it you who is reaching for me?
Is it me who is becoming distant?
Is this haze really all I can see?
I can't tell if it's you or I who's drifting,
But whoever it is, I know we'll pull out.

I need her still.