Honest Charlie

I wrote you letters on paper airplanes
and watched them soar
when I pulled my arm back and let them fly.

and all the while I hummed the tune that we all knew
could change us.

Asleep by The Smiths...
I used to hear you hum it
back when I wouldn't participate
and bill was still the best teacher then
who gave out extra assignments
and all the books are read are still my new favorites.

The pickup truck broke down
so I bought a bike and rode down
that hill as fast as I could
with arms outstretched
and that song, and your face, and their words all inside my head
and I couldn't help but smile and try to keep my eyes open
as the wind cut into them
I think I even laughed
but who knew if anything in that moment was even coherent?

The typewriter's collecting dust
but from time to time I clean it off and
type out something honest.

No, it's not the way of how I still dream of her
and no, it's not that day when I read the poem
and there was nothing but pure silence.

The suit they gave me
hangs up in the closet
along with pictures they've sent me
and lyrics to the music they used to argue about.

I opened the window and stepped out on my roof
I spread my arms out like wings
and closed my eyes
I told myself that this was for them
I jumped.
wanting to feel infinite