Rinse, wash.. take a shower and clean yourself off
cause this mess was too much and about enough
I dont wanna hear your superimposed narrative
how it was divulged and spilled out like Water.
We can take anything
we make devils sing
we are bitter.
"Carbon and Hellenic
Flesh and form finite
Tounges lick and eyes stick
The >Touch< was just right."
And I laced it with Drugs or love
but whats the difference
It's all something to make you feel at night
make you care enough to sleep alright
I wont give a
Compassion for my clothes
bandage the bleeding heart syndrome
for the fallacy for the fakeness
Wont you regress...
and if I dont live on?
"The moans were so pedantic
Exquisite, and just as much sick
In the fiction addiction we were abased
Dreams in the hope we chased."
What comes to mind?
Burned babies or torn flesh
Its all my perspective
If a meteor met me
Agony let it be.
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Comments
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Loser, why did you remove this from the contest? Are you going to enter something different?
I have to comment quickly, but I like this; I'd like to know how this pertains to your prompt; but this is abstract and I like it.
I agree with Danielle about the ending. It's definitely slapp-ish, and you're not afraid to go there, which is a cool thing to see.
Your vocab is astounding in this piece. And the rhyme scheme was actually very pleasant in the poem. You equated it to more as an assonance so it allowed the piece to flow, and it didn't feel so rigid or overwhelming.
Very nice piece.
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umm.. i was scared of how i spoke. i guess.. im not entering? if i delete it and post it in it again you two's comments will go away. i wrote it for ya tho okay? and the prompt.. i wrote a poem first, its the one inside the poem.. it was as organic and shallow as i could make it.. as opposed to spiritual and compassionate.. there are so many ways i could have gone with those two words, i tried to use the side of my head i dont usually or something.. prompts never make me give what one would expect and i probably do that on purpose. sorry..
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Wow. I fucking love this. I liked the part especially about giving a compassion for your clothes.
The ending is a freaking poetic slap in the face. I like this version so much better that it hurts. Good job and wonderful poem. I would write more but my arm hurts.
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