I feel like i need to cry
but nothing seems to come out
i feel like i just want to die
the razors worn down so i start to pout.
I run into the house
and find a better razor blade
the blood is oozing down my blouse
turning it a different shade.
I start feeling much better
as i start to get warm
my arm looks all shredded
it feels better to do myself harm.
If nothing is around to do it
i take it out on things
i get into a terrible fit
who knows what that will bring.
if im feeling real bad
and others are there with me
biting,scratching,and pulling hair is my fad
its o.k cuz we both like it you see.
Author notes
when im feeling down these are just a few things i do and im glad the person involved with me in some of it likes it...call me weird but i am who i am...its a very good stress reliever!!
FOR CONTEST STRESS:this is how stress makes me feel although i am trying not to do this anymore,hope you enjoy!
A contest entry
- ..: Feelings :.. how they affect you by hopelessly-broken.
890 points, ended July 5, 2007, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - x x For the Dark Emotions x x by Fallen Grace.
500 points, ended September 1, 2007, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me why by astralshepherd.
450 points, ended October 16, 2007, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - STRESS by Liquid memories.
525 points, ended October 20, 2007, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Spindles Of Chaos Weaving Lies That She Died With On Her Lips. by LucyLightning.
300 points, ended November 2, 2007, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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rhyme forced in many places, and even though I don't have first hand knowledge of self-harm - I am here for you if you need a friend.
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i agree it is forced but a good poem none the less.
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Oh, and in addition, you didn't include the option, so sorry, but you're out.
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a very angsty, interesting poem.
i enjoyed.
good luck in the contest! =D -
Thank you for entering the contest, I appreciate your efforts. If there is anything one could offer here it would be the admiration I have at the writer’s ability to risk in spite of odds; the heart wide open and expressive. The poem is good, and while misses completely in imagery it has an emotional impact that makes it worth the time to read. I would suggest the author find time to revisit this and repair the spelling and grammatical inaccuracies and try to find better images to express the heart’s longing. I was held here longer that I expected, for that you get high marks in those areas. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
1) Content 8
2) Originality 5
3) Flow 6
4) Word choice (vocabulary and/or rhyme) 7
5) Imagery 3
6) Grammar 5
7) Form 9
8) Spelling 6
9) Emotional Impact 9
10) Rumination factor (how well does the poem make me ponder) 9
astralshepherd’s completely subjective total score =67
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too many folks cut or damage themselves to see the blood run, but when you have seen so much of it, from ones wanting to live, but died, perhaps you would cease cutting. success in the contest.
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I know what you mean. Good poem.
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So sad, yet beautiful. The rhyming is great, the flow is a little rocky in some places but over all you did a great job on this poem.
Good luck in the contest!
~Kaela~ -
interesting
ok, i can see this poetry thing is very good for stress relieving. Good poem, you obviously have alot of strong inner feelings. i really think you should not hurt yourself, try talking to someone you trust. Please don't hurt yourself! Best wishes,
ME. -
I'm sorry to hear that you are going through that. It musn't be pleasant at all. VERY well expressed! I really felt your pin while I was reading it! I don't think that's who you are, that can't be good for you.
xxxxxxx
Maria
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this is very sad.. please dont cut, it doesnt help, if you want to vent, take it out by talkin, talk to a friend, write poetry, do all this, but please dont harm yourself or anybody else
.. a nice poem, but please dont harm yourself.. you are very special and its illegal to spoil priceless stuff let poetry be your best friend, philosopher. guide.. i hope life's better
take care
lots of love and cheers
shuvi
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pathetic, attention seeking and cliche...
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wow!!!! amazing poem. such emotion. i felt it all, and the imagrey made me feel as if i was there watching you.
i lvoed it
keep up the amazing writting! if you ever need to tlak i am here. good luck in my contest
love HB
xoxoxoxoxoxox
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poet05
IT FLOWS BUT i still dont think you shoud cut. my friend used to do that but she stopped cause me and her other friends helped her through her stress. she may do it every once in a while but she foud out that if you cut your vains youll die in other words youll bleed out. -
Well stress realiver or not the poem has good rhyme sheme and your imagery is clear and concise. Not a bad form at all very good!
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