the azure sky
illumined by brilliant sunlight
shattered window-shades
***
throning
between the wings of a butterfly
the radiant sun
***
wasps competing
on slippery hills - chocolate covered
strawberries
***
a dragonfly
mirrored in the quiet duck-pond
the sun
***
mimosa blooming
fragrance of heavy perfume
on snow-powdered hills
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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These read
like sentences....If you change the last lines to an ahh moment...they will be perfect.....I love the first two lines of them all...just work those last lines on each......but honestly.....you have the knack for these ku's.....might even say better than me.....yep....better than me...haha...
Mally
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thank you for your precious advice, mally ... I am not very comfortable with those here yet, since they have not been revised by charishma ... so your feedback is welcome ...
not sure I will be able to edit those right away, still lacking the technique ... but I WILL get back to them as soon as possible ...
maa
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