I close my eyes and listen to the rain
to hear a voice that speaks in ardent strain
A scent of earth pervades my lonely room
brought by the wind in the midnight gloom
to fill this space of limitless inane
I close my eyes and listen to the rain.
I close my eyes and listen to the rain.
Slowly, I fall in dreams that life will feign
and I let soft dreams come and take control
of my heart to ease the pain in my soul
I no longer think of those who wish my bane
For I close my eyes to listen to the rain...
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Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Lovely rhyme and repetition. I found the write nice and optimistic, although that could just be my interpretation.
Thanks for your comment.
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This may be one of my favorite poems of yours. Beautifully written. Wonderful content and perfect flow.
John
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What concentration to sounds we have here. Much here in an attempt to push out any other noise, you did that, no sweat, great verse form ,
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wonderful rhyme here, so easy and flowing, and a rhythm in these words too; empty space, time and so quiet that we hear the rain such a mood here... excellent ...PK
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Mi querida hija,
You know I love it when you write in rhyme.
Why don't you try to do it all the time?
Because, once you get the knack,
there is just no turning back
and I always think that Free Verse is a crime!
You should write much more in rhyme - you really should
'coz, when you do, you always do it good! LOL.
Applause, love and hugs, XXX El Padre.
PS. Edna had a driving accident today. Only the car is hurt but I gotta dash!
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Dear dad, what is a crime is to write without passion. I like rhymes, but like free verse just as much. I have seen rhyme poetry that really sucks; some people are so worried with the rhymes and meter that they forget to add what is more important, emotion
Sorry about your car, but glad Edna got out without any injure
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Oh Mari, I listen to the rain so often with closed eyes, grateful for warm blankets about me and wishing, as well, for the far off embrace you suggest without speaking in the soft dreams to come.
Your poem is beautifully rhymed, and the different rhythms of rain are like rhyme unspoken, too...
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a fine rhyming poem, soft, wishes and feelings many of us adore and yet there are that two lines that lays a heavy weight on whole lightness that's been striven.
We should meet ones again over a nice Guiness and have a deeeep conversation. To ease pain and straighten the ways to happiness? (at least a bit)
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Thanks Win! Ah, we should indeed meet again, but no Guiness for me, I like Jupiler better
There is no pain, well there is but only in the poem.
Thanks again for caring
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Wonderful Write!!!
Your poem is full of heavenly and beautiful images. It flows really well and the rhymes are masterfully organized. The idea behind the lines is also very great.
I really enjoyed reading your poem and thanks for sharing with us.
Would you mind reading one of my poems http://allpoetry.com/poem/show/3342726 (somehow it’s special for me) I would appreciate your comments.
~Vernal Bloom~
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Reading this made me feel real good (that was the original intent of reading your poems- which never fails). Specially-
'I no longer think of those who wish my bane
For I close my eyes to listen to the rain...'
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You look very pretty on this photo!
Don't thank me
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a good poem, sad wispy tones all the way through - all we get here is rain, might as well dream of it too
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Mari, This is gorgeous... very well written... and the rhyming is perfect not forced..
Rain creates many moods... in this one I can sense poignancy dripping.... I can tell it's written straight from heart...
take care
mina
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Reading the comments... I can only add that one hopes this poem doesn't inspire Yem to write a sonnet...(insert winkey face here)
As to the topic at hand... your poem, it's actually quite well done. It reads easily and smoothly albeit there's an odd balance of dark and bright in the poem and what seems like a overt avoidence of the obvious rhyme....'pain'. As you know, I usually prefer to go over the top, but there's a school of thought that feels that sometimes, some things are best illustrated by leaving them unsaid and this very well might be an excellent example.
It's nice to read your rhyme. Rhyme helps to structure a poem and to make you choose your words more carefully. The long vowels ending your lines create an introspective impression that adds to the feeling in your words and images.
Nicely done.
Rainbows,
~RJ~ -
I wish I had a nickel for every time I did just this. The pitter patter of rain can have such a soothing effect on the mind and soul and under the right circumstances the body as well. It's nice to know that not everyone thinks rhyming poetry is trite or passe. Excellent work my friend.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Gorgeous!!
Oooooooooooooh what passionate images You have evoked and love the form You used~
Not acquainted with it but
my word
Gorgeous message-
I believe in You!!
Strength written within...
to ease the pain...
listen to the rain...
yet...
others hear...
so no reason to fear
Thank You for sharing this Sweet Soul
Appreciate You!
Many blessings to You
Best wishes too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Here the rain is a pacifying, pretecting from the truths you choose to avoid. Sometimes those avoidances do get us through painful times. I do the same with Moxie.
I'm sorry about your soul, if the poem is personal, which most of yours are whether you admit it or not. One thing is for sure, I don't wish you bane! *hug(
Mariza rhyming...what next? Me write a Sonnet?
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Oh BTW I find it interesting that many who don't like
rhyme poetry still like music, much of which rhymes
what's up with that...
Maybe they just don't read it with the right "beat"
in their head... lol -
Me like this..
Hugs...Eddy
Mere suggestions:
What yah think about swapping the gloom and room around
for I would love the phrase "midnight room". The place of many happenings...
And how bout last lines of...
I no longer think of those who wish my bane
For I just close my eyes, listen to the rain...
Have a super duper day...
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Rain can be so soothing. Listening to it can calm you down quite easily. I liked the rhyming in this. Wonderful.
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