I have a feeling , which keeps me reeling
Applications pending , all waiting to become
Not realising what is in the waiting
Becoming was left to the chatter
when small minds discussed how to batter
running alone my feet stagger
I vow again and again
to unearth from the abysmal every remain
thus far rivets every refrain
I have a feeling, this remains in my head
as long as i dig, the metaphor read
Compunction alrams roaring from the dead
A contest entry
- Want To Win a Contest? by ArmorXForXSleep.
360 points, ended July 31, 2007, 154 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Excellent musings laced by a sense of shadowed hope.. Made a great read
thank you for sharing..
I dont know if you're looking for any critical evaluations so ignore if undesired- I may not understand the strict forms if your poem follows them, but as a reader, the first three lines read very well and smooth.. twas a joy for my tongue to word them out.. if the same aba was maintained, it would have made a fantastically smooth read. The aaa sounds a little forced. The content and words are interesting enough-doesnt need that additional rhyme for sounding great
Thank you once again, for sharing this incredible mind journey..
Kunjal.
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this i very intresting in alot of ways its seems like you we really just writing things down just to express this complex emotion which i like i find that our deepest thoughts only seem to make sense to ourselves and i like that you were able to write it down an maybe help others see inside your mind and maybe figure you out very good and good luck
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okay...
i did not understand this write so i am not going to judge something that i do not understand. may be i will re read it again and and see if i better understand.
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