Darkened streaks
Flashes of Red
Painted Flesh
Swirling purples
Clashing
Spirals of Green
Colored skin
Glistening Tango
Wondering
Forgetting
Racing
Torching Orange
Bleeding a path
Cold shivering Blue
Blazing
Thrilling
Tearing
Tired dreams
Free me
Free me of the exhausted sigh
Of the fleeting thought
Color me
Black and White
Author notes
It's complicated how the human mind goes awry but what can I say.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Free me of the exhausted sigh
Of the fleeting thought
Color me
Black and White
I love the "oh I give up!" sound in this poem it kind of made me laugh and I love how you worded it... amazing. Thats all I can say
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Well... I didn't really enjoy this because poetry to me has to have at least more than a few words per line... more than just basic rambling.
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excellent/excellent/excellent!!!
this was SO, SO, SO, SO, wonderful!!! nawh, i really mean it. this was great! i see colors to, by the way. and out of all the poems on 'this deal', THIS was the first one i clicked onto. this was good stuff. keep up the good work. love gypsyfish
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beautiful description
I really thought that you did exceptionally well with decribing the images for the reader to grasp here.... All the phrases were very vivid and eye-capturing........great work!!!!
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:)
This is absolutely astonishing!! I love the images that were bound tightly in a beautiful frame. They spoke to my body, mind, and soul....
I also love how the poem was pieced together. My eyes joyfully sensitized each and every word as I read it....
I am a very empathetic person, so each poem that I read, I can feel. I felt absolute accomplishment of taking my time to read this poem...
Great Job!!
Cith...
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wow!
this is very neat! It seems as if the colors and emotions are sloshed all over the page! very good!
keep writing, God bless
~Ginger -
I'm sort of "on the fence" with this write. I love colour and I do use it a lot in my own poetry. However, to me that's all this was, a list of colours. I understand from the last few lines and authors notes that it's about colours linked to the psyche and thoughts, I just feel more could have been said throughout and in more detail to emphasis this. Also, just to be nit-picky you used the colours tango and orange one after the other, is this too repetitive?
I did like "color me/black and white" it was a catchy way to finish. -
Promise...sing
Interesting coda to a rapid composition on the borderline between prose and poetry, though perhaps the temptation to choose a red font to key into the opening phrases might be reassessed "in the light" of the final line
Staccato thought bursts stimulated by chromatic overtones can catalyze emotions in some circumstances but the essence of poetry as opposed to prose presumes implicit control and avoiding situations where the mind admittedly goes awry.
There seems to be a typo ...
Free me of the exhasted sigh - exhausted ?
Hoping this is held proactive criticism -
Wow, I love how creative this is and very beautiful. I like what it means and how well structured it is. Thanks for sharing
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Colorful This is a very vibrant poem. Along with the colors, you give them action that really make the images jump out. Your ending is interesting, it makes me think the subject is just empty, with no color at all, because the idea of black and white would seem to contrast with the desire for color. For the reason, upon a second read of this poem, I get that emptiness feeling even more, and I think I understand it better now.
Great, and thank you for sharing
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