Steadily streaming out for love
to find its way inside
Once again whittling woeful fingers
into the shapes of saints
Finding infliction lays waste there too
No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul contains a piece of hell
Feasting off a seemingly innate diffidence
to claim an already scarcely pulsing will
I teeter to the edge of existence
Barely believing anything can be real
So to sustain I
steadily stream out for love
Replenishing essence
To fine its home inside of me
Skin being the only constraint in
Continual Incandescence
Author notes
As a creative choice I used my right not to use punctuation in this piece. I would like to note that I am not religious, but more spiritual. There is a lot of myself in here, would love to hear your thoughts...comments, musings, notions, beliefs, concerns, regards, suspicions, inklings, view, theory's, hypothesis, opinions...anything.
In a list
A contest entry
- ...Something a Little Deeper... by PerfectImperfection.
685 points, ended August 21, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Thoughts, ideas? Anything really.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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"no matter how lovely is the shell/every soul contains a piece of hell" is perfect. reminds me of something i would write, not to be pretentious. perfect ending too. those last two lines really hit home. "barely believing anything can be real" also means a lot to me. love that line. a very thought-provoking piece all around. as far as the lack of punctuation goes, it works great most of the time but in some instances it just confused me. like in the first stanza i really had trouble distinguishing the ideas in it because the lines are not separated at all.
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A very careful, beautiful and emotionally powerful poem; your use of alliteration is slight, but superb when you do use it. My emotional response to this poem was that your attempting, as the writer, to reconcile the conflict between love and self loathing. Many of the passages seem to contrasts these to different themes.
For instance:
"No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul contains a piece of hell"
Seems to connote the idea of the body being protection from the vunerabilitys and darkness of the inner being.
I think your opening is very effective to, especially in the term streaming which you use a few times.
Very well done and keep up the excellent work.
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I know you've heard this before, but
No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul conains a peace of hell
is pure poetry and coud be a piece unto itself.
Nice touch leaving out punctuation. It only gets in the way of the thought process.
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I stumbled across this piece and thought it was really well written. As others have said, I was struck by the line "Every soul contains a piece of hell" Thanks for such a thought provoking and refreshing work.
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Speechless
Like, Wow
this poem is so amazing that it got me out of words to describe it!
I loved the entire thing it said so much things <3
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I am one who has always felt punctuation was a hindrance for me. This is well written, and truly thought provoking. A journey through self and spirit. Thank you for your entry!
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Ascention into the profound
There seemed to be some kind of sensual spiritualism in this piece. To me, it seemed like it had a little bit of a sexual vibe to it. (Or maybe my mind's just in the gutter.)
I liked the image of "whittling woeful fingers" because it reminds me of how I fidget around when I'm nervous or apprehensive.
I like this piece quite a lot. I should go read more of your works. :-)
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Wonderful
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this is amazing. i love it. the rhyme scheme flowed perfectly, and i completely respect your choice not to use punctuation. lol.
No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul contains a piece of hell
I especially like that part. I'm not religious either, not really, i pray, i mean, i don't see any reason why not to, but it makes me think about something that i thought about a while back, that you know, if there is a god, that he/she has to deal with the fact that he/she CAN'T be good all the time, and that at times it may be necessary to do things that may not be morally or ethically correct in a manner of speaking, and so do we. and if there is a god, than that is one of the things that we share with him, that knowledge, or at least, if our mind doesn't know, our soul does. anyway. good job.
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"he/she CAN'T be good all the time" I think this is because we are mislead in the meaning of good or positive. True response is always as positive as one can be, even if it looks like what we deem as negative. Denial of absolute truth as gotten us into a whole lot of trouble and to clean house, we may have to do things that may feel unethical in healthy circumstances.
I think we share everything with him/her. We are reflections/ pieces of them.
Thanks for the comment!!!
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A very brilliant and glowing poem. The title for sure and the backdrop are perfect. I like the renegerative part of your poem. Love is always inside u don't need to reach out necessarily.. self-renewal. If you feed it with light and God, you will be as magnetic and high-powered like your image. I don't believe in hell to me it's a (mis)conceptual state and a choice. Overshadows and emptiness are unlearning in learning. Once u learn, it changes again. There is a valued charateristic of nurturing balance in self-centerdness. It seems to condemn parts of self while accepting other parts. Feels like a composite.. like love self and embrace all. I ground with God for bliss and enrichment.
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Wow... well I agree with MarkAnderson.
Amazing poem -
I love a poem you have to study. Right away the lines;
"No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul contains a piece of hell"
jump off the page. It made me re-read the first stanza.
Very complex and intricate.
The first stanza tells me you are naive when choosing a love interest. Always trying to make them perfect in your mind. Only in the end is it you realize they are not.
No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul contains a piece of hell
At first I thought you were talking about yourself, then I thought you were talking about them, but upon reading the rest it see it could describe both, whether realized or not.
From the stanza that follows, I gather that you feel shy and withdrawn from the world, so you look harder for someone to connect with.
"To fine its home inside of me
Skin being the only constraint in"
This to me puts a sexual connotation to the poem.
"Continual Incandescence"
Could be you feel there is no way out of this emotional cyclone.
So, that's my take. It seems as if there could be many more translations to this poem, due to it's complexities, but this is mine.
Wonderful vocab skill by the way.
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oh thank you thank you for this great comment!
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Beautiful wording
This is a joy to read not only because of the personal honest nature of the poem but because of the background you have chosen. It is an all-consuming experience. Many thanks!! Warm Regards...vivela -
ooo, cuts deep! very good!
the existenntial problems are particularly prevalent. Does the carving fingers into saints bit mean trying to act like saints? I like the mixture of supernatural and natural. quite a good read. congratulations, your points were well spent on featuring this poem! -
WOW! I really love this poem. It is great all around, with wonderful imagery and beautiful word choice. I especially like the phrase "Once again whittling woeful fingers
into the shapes of saints" -- your poem is so unique and every word packs a punch.
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"No matter how lovely is the shell
Every soul contains a piece of hell"
This is a beautiful poem, I liked it alot. ^^^ my favorite lines
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love lines seven and eight. very good.
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You have portrayed a great image here, speaks from the heart and soul and so wonderfully written!
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