I sit back and think of you.
I think of us and all of the times.
You're gone now, but I realize,
You were never actually there.
I had you during the night,
While the darkness hid our meetings.
Our lips met, our tongues dueled,
And my heart beat rapidly.
During the day we were nothing,
Only friends who laughed and talked.
But even with the sun beating down,
The shadows of the night haunted me.
I think of those nights under the willowy pines,
The hands caressing and the eyes adoring.
I hate the fact that it ever happened,
And yet, if given the chance,
I would do it all over again.
A contest entry
- Raven Qualifier - Romance: Love, Fantasy and Passion by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended May 11, 117 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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A beautiful poem portraying a forbidden romance. Friends by day and lovers under the cover of the night. It's easy to understand how you would do it again, love is hard to deny, even forbidden love (actually harder). Well done.
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this was a very interesting piece...I really like how the train of thought flowed without the reader becoming baffled.
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WOW all I can say is wow.... its great i love it... brings me to into your pain. I love the title to the repition of history... oh how perfect a title
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This is a really good write. There is a lot of passion here. There was a lot of vivid imagery painted by this poem. I loved the lines "During the day we were nothing, Only friends who laughed and talked.
But even with the sun beating down, The shadows of the night haunted me".
This is very powerfull.
All and all, an enjoyable read.
Keep up the good work. -
I like the way this write develops down the page here and enjoyed reading it very much. You created a nice transition from the beginning of the poem to the ending. Keep that ink flowing freely from your pen dear poet!
♥ Touchof1der -
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my poem! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!
~Mon Amour Ange
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Wow!
I can honestly relate to this, but thats all I can say.
Great job this is awesome.
I think of those nights under the willowy pines,
The hands caressing and the eyes adoring.
I hate the fact that it ever happened,
And yet, if given the chance,
I would do it all over again.
awe yes, indeed! -
The image this poem created for me was one of a person who had been deeply in love but the love turned out to be a secret affair. Stanza one recalls memories of love but with hind sight it’s realised that the love was never really there, while stanza two expresses some of the feelings that tool place between the two parties involved.
It is in stanza three that the impression of an affair came in to play for me because of the first two lines “During the day we were nothing, / Only friends who laughed and talked.” I think these lines portray how lovers behave while trying to appear as if nothing is going on in reality. Yet the author describes in the last two lines that shadows were still haunting as if the person knew that what was happening wasn’t real or couldn’t last.
The last stanza reinforces this idea with the line “I hate the fact that it ever happened,” and yet given the chance they would do it over again. I think many people would think along those lines after experiencing a strong love. I think the author has written this poem in a logical order and the image is one that people will relate to. The language is colloquial which allows access to a larger audience.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry! Your work may also be viewed by other Raven judges.
Northern Raven
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wow... that is absolutely beautiful. flows gorgeously. GREAT JOB!
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Thank you so much, for the comment and for taking the time to read my poem!!!
~Mon Amour Ange
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