I'm sitting here
Running away from home
Eyes really bloodshot
From the salt in my tears
And this traffic light
Same color as my eyes Burning Red
I can't wait for the green to ignite
I want to drive away
Leave my life
Because all my problems
Often keep me awake at night
I hate yielding bad results
Running away
Is what my best defense is
From all the inevitible
I don't want to deal with this
Yet I can't stand being without you
When the gas ran out
I walked from the car
Until I couldn't feel my legs
I, just got tired of running from you
I stopped right there
And thought about what I've done
And when I called
To appologize to you
You seemed to already know
And yet you never said
"I told you so"
Back to reality:
From a loud horn
The green goes out
The red back on
I wipe my eyes
I got a second chance
And in my mind
I thought I heard
"Son come home
I truely do miss you"
I came home
And quitely fell asleep
And when I woke up
Behind these closed doors
First thing I heard
"I love you, I forgave you already"
Author notes
someday when i get my lisence, this might become reality
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I think this does a very good job of conveying everyday emotion. We've all been there and we all know how it feels. It may not sound "poetic", but then again, not all poetry needs to sound poetic.
For a moment, I thought this might to better in prose format, but on second thought, I think it's current formatting is best.
In a few places, you've misspelt some words such as "truely" and "appologize".
Ending seems a little weak to me, but I think it can easily be improved upon.
All told, I think this is a strong poem for the most part -- though not perfect. -
Let's hope the end in forgiveness is a given too. Nice emotional peice.
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Damn Good
This was damn good my friend! you told this story very well... a prophetic glimpse at another's life is always eye opening, often because it makes one look back or perhaps forward and think long and hard about the things they have done or have yet to do. your words allow the reader to fully understand your message with ease and you used some very nice imagery in this write.. i tip my hat to you sir for a write well done! Keep up the good work and peace out!
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I have never run away myself - perhaps poetry is running away? Who knows? This is rather well done without that "cutting, harming, killing" element that is often present in teenage escape. Hope some peace stays with you.
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beautiful.
and it is a reality, it just hasn't happened, yes?
the future is real, only in another place.
i don't know how to explain it.
anyways, this is heart-wrenching and achingly beautiful.
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